Mazes
by LoLfEdward
Summary: Bella is BFs with the Hale twins; she loves Jasper, who loves Alice. Bella begins dating James, who hurts her. The road to recovery is a long one, and Bella has enough confusion to deal with without Edward coming in too- she starts to fall for him. BxE
1. Chapter 1

I was screwed. Royally screwed. How else could you describe my situation? Here I sat, watching, agony and jealousy ripping through me, as my best friend for four years walked down the halls at school with his new girlfriend.

There he was, the guy who laughed with me and talked with me and made me fall for him –my best friend, Jasper Hale.

I bit my lip, and held on tighter to my books as he passed me, giving me a grin with all those pearly white teeth and those wide, soft lips…

I turned around swiftly, ignoring his ecstatic grin and ignoring the tears leaking down my face. I shut my locker with a loud bang that was hardly heard in the crowded hallway and walked with haste to make it to my best friend's classroom. I arrived and peeked around the doorframe to make sure he hadn't arrived yet. With a sigh of relief I spotted only a few students, chatting idly and waiting for class to start, with my best friend sitting a few seats back and concentrating on finishing an assignment.

"Rose," I hissed. She looked up with annoyance until she saw it was me, and smiled. Her smile quickly faltered when she took in my face. Quickly, she stood up, dodging books and backpacks as she paced down the aisle and came to the doorway.

"Bella, what's wrong?" she asked quickly, though her face looked like she knew.

"Did you know that he got a girlfriend? That he actually got together with her at that party?" I asked in a whisper.

She wrinkled her nose and looked at me with pity. It didn't help one bit, as more tears swept from my eyelids and down my pale face. I shook my head, and started to walk away to my class; I was late.

"Wait, Bella!" she called, striding towards me with her long legs and catching up.

"Rose, I have to go."

"I'm sorry I didn't warn you," she said, grabbing my arm. "I was hoping that you wouldn't find out so soon…"

"I go to school with him. I see him every morning. He's my best friend! How could I have not found out soon?"

She sighed again. "I'm sorry," she repeated.

I stared at her for a long moment, and then nodded. "I know. Me too," I whispered, then ran in the opposite direction, really running late now.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. Jasper was my everything; he was my best friend and one of the only guys I could rely on to be true and honest with me. None of the guys our age were like him –he was calm and collected and cool and amazing. He understood me, and I understood him. We were two peas in a pod. Why couldn't he feel that? Why did he have to be with Alice?

I'm sure she was amazing; but she barely knew him! They met only a week ago, and already they were together.

It wasn't fair.

I stood outside my classroom door for a few moments, trying to collect myself before I entered. I wiped away the tears impatiently and took a deep, steadying breath.

I could do this. I could do this. I could do this.

First hour English passed in a haze of self loathing and day dreaming about better days when Jasper didn't talk to any other girls besides his sister –Rose, and me. I dreamt about sunshine (figuratively; Forks was the rainiest place on the planet) days when Jasper told me everything.

He didn't anymore; we were still best friends, but for the past few months he had set his eyes on girls with character, and good looks. He was turning into someone I didn't grow up with, someone I didn't fall in love with. He had dates every weekend, sometimes multiple times during the week, and I was sure he barely even noticed me anymore.

That didn't stop me from loving him. The fact that suddenly he had muscles and had gotten rid of his glasses so you could see his pale blue eyes more clearly only made me want him more. The fact that he told jokes to other people now, and was showing the charisma that I always loved about him only made me more jealous.

Maybe I was kidding myself about still being best friends with him. We barely talked anymore; I should just move on, since obviously he had.

However being the masochistic type of girl I was, I couldn't bring myself to leave him behind. Not yet. I just wanted a little more time with him, any time I could get. I was always over at his house; chances are I'd see him more, now that he was finally going steady with a girl. He wouldn't have as many dates with girls, because he already found one.

Right?

"Miss Swan? The answer," Mr. Bates demanded.

I looked up from the notebook I was staring at dully, and blushed furiously. "Umm… I'm sorry, I didn't hear the question," I told him.

He seemed peeved this morning. It probably wasn't the best time for me to daze.

"If you aren't willing to pay attention now, then perhaps you can pay attention in detention after school. Now…" he moved on to another subject while I stared at him, dumbfounded and hurt even more.

It was quickly turning into the worst day of my existence.

I skipped lunch, unwilling to be anywhere that I could see the happy couple holding hands and whispering as they were prone to do, instead walking towards the library.

Someone whispered to my right, and I heard a door slam open, a series of giggles and a hearty chuckle that I'd recognize anywhere. Turning, I spotted Jasper and Alice coming out of the storage closet just in front of me. They looked flushed, and were all smiley.

I bit my lip and blushed at finding them. "Bella!" Jasper said happily. Alice smiled at me too, saying a quick and excited "Hello!"

I nodded at them, trying to keep a grimace off of my mouth, and continued on to the library, practically running.

I didn't remember much of the rest of that day. Alice and Rose happened to be in my fourth hour, but I avoided both of their gazes.

I didn't hate her; Alice was one of the nicest girls I had ever met –a tiny ball of happy karma.

But I was too jealous of her, and honestly a little intimidated of her so I only ever answered her polite comments with stiff, short ones.

I dreaded the hour's long detention so much that I was actually considering faking some disease so that I wouldn't be forced to sit in the hard desk, in front of Mr. Banner, doing nothing but losing a stare-down.

Unfortunately my imagination wasn't apt to giving me any fool-proof solutions today; I trudged to the empty classroom with a down expression on my face and a heavy heart.

It really was the worst day ever.

I thought that my detention would be empty, but it appeared the English teacher was having one of _those_ days. Another student, one I only knew by sight even with the size of our school, sat in the back row. I walked to the second to last row, determined to be as far away from the hated teacher as possible, but feeling awkward sitting too close to the other kid.

After a long speech about disrupting the class by not doing what we should be doing (yadda, yadda, yadda) Mr. Banner retreated to the teacher's lounge, commanding that we don't talk and stay here until he comes to fetch us.

I rolled my eyes as he left, leaning forward to put my head in my hands. I sighed deeply, wondering how I could ever move on from Jasper Hale. He was my life. But apparently I was no longer his.

The thought was so depressing that I wanted to bust out the Ben & Jerry's and never emerge from my room again.

"Are you okay?" a silky voice asked.

I looked up and to my left quickly, causing my neck to crick. Wincing in pain and massaging it gently, I took in the boy. He was tall with dirty blonde hair, dark blue eyes and a stubble on his chin. He was probably a senior, like Jasper.

He was pretty cute, and had that flirty look on his face, even though he was trying to look concerned at the moment.

I nodded at him, saying a short, "I'm fine, thanks," in reply before reaching in my bag for a notebook so I could pretend like I was doing something.

I grabbed my cell phone while I was at it and noticed a text from Rose: "I know you've had a rough day honey, and my only advice is this: Try to move on. My brother isn't worth all the drama.

"Try dating someone else, Bella. There are plenty of guys in Forks High… Just date around, like he did. Maybe you'll find someone else. Or maybe he'll realize he likes you too. Either way, try to smile. "

I sighed out loud, and closed the text.

Rose didn't get why I liked her brother sometimes; she was like that though –half the time squealing about it and wanting us together, and the other half shrugging and telling me to move on.

But I loved him. It wasn't that easy, which she would know if she listened to me for a second when I tried to convince her that my feelings were serious and not just a product of me never having experience with a guy before.

"You're Bella Swan, right?" the blonde guy behind me asked. I looked at him again, almost wrinkling my nose. Couldn't he just leave me be?

"Ya, that's me," I replied. "Who are you?"

He smiled a quick, easy smile that was actually very catching. "I'm James. Are you a sophomore?"

I did wrinkle my nose this time. "Junior," I said, annoyed again.

He nodded like he knew that the whole time. "So, what's up with you?"

I shook my head. "You don't know me; I'm not going to spill my problems to you," I told him with a quick eye roll.

"What do you not talk to strangers?" he asked, half mocking and half flirting. "Besides… you could know me." He smiled.

I rolled my eyes again, but felt a weird flutter in my heart.

He was flirting with me. It felt… nice. Especially after the day I'd had.

"No thanks," I replied daintily, turning back in my seat to face the front.

There was a sound of the desk scraping the linoleum floor, and then James was suddenly sitting in front of me, sitting in the desk the opposite way to face me. He smiled at my expression, and winked.

"I figured I could see your beautiful eyes better this way," he said offhandedly.

I tried to keep a straight face, but found myself smiling.

He laughed at me, and asked, "So how did you come to be here?"

"Banner was in a bad mood and I was day dreaming. You?" I shot back.

"He calls it wasting paper, I call it practicing." At my confused expression he explained. "Paper airplanes. Five out of seven landed in the trash can."

I laughed lightly. James smiled at me, and then suddenly grabbed my hand. I froze, almost withdrawing it from his grasp, but he only held it tighter.

"Why haven't I seen you around before, Bella?"

"You must've, or you wouldn't have known my name," I informed him. He smiled again.

"Alright," he agreed. "So why haven't we gone out before?"

I blushed, and looked down at the desk then spotting our hands clasped together, and then turning a deeper maroon color.

"I don't know you," I told him in a squeaky voice.

"You can," he told me, again. I blushed more, continually, until he dropped my hand. However he just reached over and brought my chin up to look at him.

"I like you," he said in a decided voice. "Will you go out with me this Saturday?"

I gulped nervously. This had never happened to me before. What was I supposed to do? I was in love with Jasper, I wanted him…

But Rose had said to date other people… Maybe this would help me get over Jasper. Did I really want to do that? Did I want to move on from him? No, I decided.

She also mentioned that Jasper might realize he likes me too… If that were even possible…

Maybe I should date someone else. Maybe it would make him jealous. Maybe there was a chance this could work to my favor.

I studied James as my face still blushed red and I thought about it. He waited patiently, that easy smile on his face. I didn't know him at all, and my dad being a cop I had learned about stranger danger when I was two. But how bad could he be? He looked nice. He talked to me decently.

And he was showing interest… I wasn't desperate for guys. Only for one. But if that wasn't going to happen then why not have a little fun? Why not opt for a distraction. This could work out in my favor.

"Sure," I told him, smiling a little. "I'll go out with you."

He grinned at me, taking my hand again and squeezing it –a little tighter than was comfortable. I bit my lip, suddenly unsure. What had I just gotten in to?

But it wasn't like I couldn't back out after one date. Who said it had to be anything with a commitment? I could change my mind.

Right?

Ten days later, James was my boyfriend.

In all honesty, I wasn't sure how it happened so quickly. All I knew was that he was nice, and charming, and charismatic, and he liked me a lot. Our date had gone extremely well, and we hung out every day after that. He kissed me only a few days after meeting him, and even though I didn't think I was prepared in the slightest, I liked it. It happened so quickly, I couldn't object. He was fun to be around and fun to kiss. Why not?

I couldn't have Jasper. I had almost accepted that completely, and I figured being his girlfriend would be a good way to get him out of my system.

Rose didn't like him all that much; she had this funny look on her face every time I mentioned him or she was in his company –kind of like she smelled something awful. But I ignored that. It wasn't like Rose like a lot of people in general, anyways.

It was Thursday afternoon on the second week after James and I started dating. I was walking toward my last class of the day, smiling a little about the flirty text I had received from James just a few seconds ago, when I heard my name being called. I looked around, and spotted Jasper running towards me.

I cursed my heart for drumming so loudly, and tried to smile at him.

"Bella, can I talk to you?" Jasper asked me quickly, not waiting for an answer as he dragged me to a safe spot in the crowded hall way.

"Uh, sure, what's up?" I asked.

"You're…" he hesitated, looking at me with an ashamed look on his cute face, "You're dating that guy now, James?"

I frowned, and nodded. "Yes."

"You shouldn't," he blurted out.

I stared at Jasper for a moment, unwilling to hear this. Was I not allowed to get a happy ending? Was it enough that I already loved him, couldn't he just leave me alone to be happy with some other guy?

I shook the thoughts out of my head and replied stiffly, "And why is that?"

Jasper bit his lip again, a habit that he had unconsciously picked up from me years ago, and sighed. "Bella he's just… not good. For you."

"Why not?"

"Bella, please, just… break it off. I don't like the look of him, and it worries me that you're with him."

"Do you even know him?"

"Do you?" he shot back.

I glared at him, and he looked shocked. "Jasper Hale, don't come over here and try to dictate whom I do and do not date. Last time I checked, you didn't care."

I started to walk away, towards my last period just as the warning bell rang.

"Bella, wait!" he called after me. I shook my head to myself and walked faster away from him.

After school I met up with James and his friends –Laurent, Victoria, and Irina. They all sat around his car, laughing about something. James saw my expression and rushed over to me.

"Bella, babe, what's wrong?" he asked, frowning.

I sighed and reluctantly and quickly told him what happened with Jasper. "He hasn't even spoken to me since he started dating Alice, why does he care? He has no right!" I fumed.

James nodded. "Bella, maybe you should just stay away from him."

I looked up at James, shocked. "Why?"

He shrugged. "If he's treating you this way, why would you want to hang around with him anyways? He sounds like a jerk, leaving you for that girl like he did."

When he put it that way… My heart broke a little more.

"But he's been my friend for years," I told him quietly.

"Bella, I don't think you should hang around with guys who are two-faced like that. Babe, it isn't right. Why would he do that to you?" I nodded along with him, a little numb.

James smiled lightly. "Come on I'll take you home," he said. He leaned down, catching my lips, and kissed me chastely. Laurent whistled, causing the girls to laugh. Then James chuckled and kissed me some more, moving his lips with mine in a rough way that I wasn't used to, but didn't object to.

I was about to pull away, aware of his friends standing there still, when his hands travelled from my arms to my waist, before grabbing my lower back and pushing me towards him firmly. I blushed, and froze, unsure in this situation. He continued kissing me, moving his tongue into my mouth and eventually I caught on. After a full minute of this, he released me, winking, and opened the door of his car for me.

"Um, thanks," I said quietly, blushing furiously. He laughed a little, and Laurent wolf-whistled once more before the door slammed shut. My heart was racing, and I closed my eyes for a moment.

He was different than Jasper. And obviously Jasper didn't want me in his life in the way I craved him… It was time to move on. And like I said, James was different. He was new and exciting in a way.

I liked him. Maybe I could love him like I loved Jasper.


	2. 5 months later

**Alright, here is chapter dos!! Just to let everyone know, this is NOT a Jasper/Bella story. Everyone will be cannon couple! But Edward won't come in for at least four chapters. I'm not sure yet. :/ **

**Thanks for reading!**

**Disclaimer: i own nothing Twilight. Just this storyline. **

**5 months later**

I walked out of last period Spanish, avoiding everyone, and everyone else avoiding me. I kept my eyes focused on the sidewalk, already speckled with rain drops. Someone bumped into me, and I barely caught myself, straightening up and staring at the boy who did it. He rushed away without an apology and I continued walking.

I made it to the parking lot, which was slowly filling with students, all laughing and happy to be out of school for the day. I sighed.

"Bella," someone called my name shortly. I turned reluctantly.

"Yes?"

James walked towards me, still with his long blond hair and blue eyes; there was a tattoo he got a few weeks ago on his arm, and his eyes were glaring at me rather than smiling like they used to. Victoria was beside him, holding his arm as he held her around the waist and smiling like she knew a secret. I resisted the urge to gag.

"Don't be smart with me," he warned.

"Sorry," I replied automatically, without feeling. "What is it?"

He rolled his eyes condescendingly at me, and dropped his arm from around Victoria's, instead wrapping it around me possessively. He pulled me forward against him and kissed me.

When he pulled away he said, "There's a party this Saturday," he told me.

"And?"

"And you're coming with me."

I huffed. "You can't tell me –" I started.

"Yes, I can," he glared down at me and I gulped.

He smiled like he won something and kissed me again, too roughly and degrading like he always did now.

I pushed him away. "I don't want to go James," I told him blankly.

"Bella, would you stop being so pissy and listen to me?" James asked with a snarl. I glared at him, too stubborn to back down but also slightly fearful of not yielding. My hands were shaking with both anger and nerves.

_He can't do anything at school_, I calmed myself.

"I'm not the one who's pissed off James, you're being ridiculous!" I told him fiercely as I pulled myself from his grasp and walked past him to my truck.

He kept a steady pace with me, grabbing my hand –putting on a show like he was being sweet, but really just wanting me to stop walking away from him. "Bella, just come to the party with me."

"I don't like parties, which you very well know," I replied smartly, trying to release my hand. He only squeezed it tighter; I was losing feeling in my fingers.

"You think I care that you don't like them, woman?" he asked me rhetorically with a sneer. "Why can't you just trust me?" He cursed, moving away from me.

I couldn't help myself. "You've given me plenty of reasons, James!" James whipped around and glared, stalking towards me. I tried not to flinch, but couldn't help taking a step back. "Stop," I told him in a shaky voice. I swallowed quickly and clasped my hands together to stop their trembling. "There are students around, James," I hissed at him, panic still evident in my voice.

"Bella, I'm not stupid," he said, rolling his eyes and sniping again. He grabbed my face firmly in his. "I'll be at your house later," he told me. I gulped as he released me with a jerk and walked away towards his car.

"What if I don't want you there?"I shouted after him.

He didn't turn around, just giving me the finger and getting in his car. I let out a frustrated moan and looked down at my hand, sighing in relief.

That wasn't bad; it was only a little bruised.

I dreaded going home. I dreaded being anywhere these days; ever since James started getting touchy and pissed at me –eventually resorting to hitting and grabbing me instead of the mental manipulation that he had always thrown at me, everything in my life was pure torture. School was torture, because I had to act happy while seeing all of my old friends who were really happy. Home was torture, because my Renee and Charlie were always gone, leaving me home alone; Charlie was the boss of a detective agency, earning a lot of money which Renee used for extensive vacations for the both of them. She stayed with him in Seattle most of the time.

Being at home scared me, because James saw it as an excuse to come over more often. My excuses were running out to keep him away from the house. I actually felt sorry for telling my parents to get rid of the maids a few months ago, wanting to be home alone when they were gone.

Students in the parking lot were staring at me, I realized, so I climbed into my old red truck, shutting the door loudly and started the engine with a roar. I drove home slowly through the mucky weather, procrastinating tonight.

I wasn't sure what would happen; it went one of two ways when James came over these days.

Sometimes we'd honestly just hang out for a few hours; he'd come over, let himself in and flirt with me, making those silly comments that made my heart flutter and put a smile on my face; we might watch a movie, and James being the hormonal guy he is, would get me to make out with him the majority of the time. But he was like he used to be, a little desperate yes, but mostly soft. Then he'd go home.

He was indifferent most of those nights.

Other nights, he'd get… emotional.

James would come over after dinnertime; he'd use the key that I gave him to get in, never knocking. He'd be casual for all of five minutes, flirting and complimenting me like he used to… and then he'd start making moves. He'd kiss me sweetly for a few minutes before he turned rough and harsh. Then when he'd start making more progress in the direction of the road I did _not_ want to travel down with him, I'd protest and try to push him off. James would be frustrated, trying harder. When I refused even more, he'd become more angry.

He wouldn't use physical force to get me to have sex with him; but he hit me when he was angry, which was becoming more often than not lately, since I continued to refuse him. After he hit me around for a few minutes, sometimes for much longer, he'd calm down and sit in silence for a few minutes, before kissing me again. At this point I'd just lie still and let him; fighting back when he had just finished hitting me was not a smart move, as I'd learned within the first few days of the abuse.

Around nine he'd leave to go to someone else's house; I assumed it was mostly Victoria he was hooking up with, but I couldn't be sure who all the other girls were. I didn't want to know.

The abuse wasn't critical yet, at least not to me; I could bear it. I didn't have any other options. Maybe three out of seven days a week he'd hit me around.

But I had a gut feeling it was only going to get worse, and I didn't know what to do.

I didn't know why he stayed with me; I most certainly didn't want to be with him anymore, not since long before he began to be rough with me. But I couldn't escape; it was like James was everywhere. We were in some classes together since the beginning of this new semester, a favor James had probably blackmailed out of the office staff since he was a senior and I was a junior. He had access to my house; I didn't have a job and neither did he; he was almost always over on nights and weekends, making me do things I didn't want to do and keeping up a stream of harsh comments and indifferent feelings toward anything I cared about. I couldn't decide which was worse –the physical or the mental and emotional abuse.

I tried breaking things off with him a few times; the first time was about a month after we started dating. James freaked out, enough to scare me but not enough for me to realize how harmful he could be. After that James steadily got worse –even though the first two and a half months were the highlights of our relationship. A month or so later I tried again; this time my boyfriend did hit me. He warned me about trying again, and left in a hurry that night.

I didn't have anywhere to go, and I had no one to turn to or I would have tried harder to break it off with James after he first hit me. James was manipulative; he convinced me my friends didn't like me, and when I tried to come up with reasons to refute it he put his foot down, so to speak, and told me I couldn't hang out with them anymore. I wasn't allowed to talk to Rose, Jasper, or even Alice. No one. No Contact. Nothing.

But it didn't stop me from trying to send subtle hints to Rose at least, willing her to believe that I hadn't abandoned her completely. She was angry at me for over two months, never looking at me or responding to my timid smiles. But Rosalie was a sweetheart deep inside and after awhile she smiled back, somehow seeming to understand that I still couldn't talk to her. She was the smartest girl I knew; she probably knew more about James than I knew.

Jasper was still with Alice, though there were a few weeks when they "took a break" according to the school's gossip. I hadn't gotten my hopes up in those weeks, because they still talked to me even when they weren't together.

He didn't speak to me, or really even acknowledge me in any way.

It broke me more than the beatings did; I still loved him.

There wasn't anyone to help me get away; I was stuck.

I sighed to myself, unwilling to remember better times. It was easier to pretend I'd always been this miserable, because it didn't look as if I could ever _not_ be. There was no silver lining. It wasn't even a bright colored lining; my life was dark grey like the stupid rain clouds that never went away.

I parked in my driveway, considering running away. My parents were absent, so they wouldn't care. No one would.

But I wasn't stupid enough to quit school; if I ran away then I wouldn't be able to graduate and everything would be ruined. Maybe I could get away for college.

It was almost dark by the time I gathered the will to move, jumping down from the truck and dragging myself into the house.

It was still and empty. I turned on the lights, trying to make it seem more alive, thinking if I kept them off and left the house for the night I could avoid my boyfriend.

But I couldn't leave because James would be more angry with me for ditching out on him; he'd think I was off with some other guy, a subject he got really touchy about –going to the extent of not letting me wear anything that revealed _any_ skin except when I was just around him. Also, he'd just beat me harder later for it.

_It's not like I have anywhere else to go_, I thought miserably, sitting on the couch.

I skipped dinner. I always did; if I ate, he beat me more often, telling me I was fat and should just stop eating altogether. _That_ started after the first two and a half months. James would make little comments like how I should eat healthier; I thought it was endearing at first, thinking that he was only concerned for my well being. After that he was manipulating me into thinking I was eating too much, and I weighed too much and that's why people didn't like me. Somewhere in my mind I knew he was lying, but James scared me into following him. When he started beating me he also began forcing me to skip meals. I cheated at first, but after awhile I lost the will. It wasn't worth the hurt afterwards, and I threw up dinner when he hit me anyways.

I sighed, going upstairs to freshen up the makeup that I obsessed about now; I had never bothered before except when Rose would dress me up, but now it was necessary to cover the bruises whenever James happened to hit my face. I was only going to be home that night, I never went out anymore, but I still had this need to _please_ James… He didn't like looking at the bruises.

It was always like that. I wanted to be pretty for him, even when he beat me. I wanted to be enough for somebody so bad, that James was the one I tried to dress up for. I made out with him because he wanted it. I just wouldn't have sex with him; about that I was my most stubborn. I had a thick line drawn, and I wouldn't let him cross it. I didn't love him.

I would probably end up going to the party with him this weekend because he wanted me to. I hated the idea of how involved I was with this sick guy.

I finished my makeup and changed into a different shirt, one of those that he didn't approve of in public. Then I went downstairs, waiting with butterflies in my stomach to see which version of my boyfriend he'd be tonight. I wiped a small tear away from the corner of my eye.

But he never showed. Six o'clock came, then seven o'clock, then eight o'clock, and finally nine o'clock.

No one.

I was too afraid to be relieved that I got the night off; somehow this would be my fault. Maybe he was just caught up at Victoria's or something.

I decided to turn in early for the night since I almost never got sleep; I locked all of the doors, though that wouldn't do much good, and turned on a light so I wouldn't sleep with nightmares.

I woke up to someone shuffling around in the dark. I sat up straight in bed, my heart racing. I hadn't turned off the light. Did the power go off? Was there a robber in my room?

"Bella," a harsh voice said.

The light snapped on, and James was there, glaring at me.

My heart didn't stop racing; I glared back pitifully, "What?"

"Why didn't you call me?"

"James, you didn't show up. Why are you here right now anyways?" I asked. "It's…" I looked at the clock, "past midnight. Can't you just… go be with some other girl right now? I want to sleep," I snapped.

The fact that I just woke up from dead sleep obviously inhibited my brain a little. James glared at me, and I realized a second too late that this situation would be _my_ fault, and I should have just accepted that.

Now it would hurt more.

"No, Bella, I don't think I'm going to let you," he scorned. "Get up," he commanded.

I realized I was shaking as I stood up. "James, _please_, don't," I whispered.

He shrugged at me, before grabbing my wrist as if he would playfully pull me towards him.

It didn't happen that way. He yanked me forwards, twisting my wrist painfully in the process. I yelped, but tried to keep my mouth shut. He didn't like me to scream. He grabbed my waist tightly, too tightly for comfort, and crashed his lips down on mine callously. I stood as still as I could until he shook me, angry for my lack of response, then hesitantly kissed him back. He pushed me off of him and slapped me.

"Bella, knock it off," he whispered in a mean voice. He continued trying to kiss me, throwing me down on the bed after a minute. He slapped me once more, so I kissed him roughly like he wanted me too.

It didn't help anything. James got more hands on, pulling my hair so much that I wanted to scream in pain, and squeezing my sides so hard that they'd bruise. I whimpered, but he'd strike me again until I stopped. He moved his mouth from mine and onto my neck, working down onto the top of my chest. He bit down on the side of my neck, marking me. Tears were in my eyes as I lay there, waiting until he stopped kissing me.

"I don't understand," he groaned, pushing me into the bed and putting too much pressure on my ribs. "Why won't you love me?"

I shook my head, water leaking out of my eyes. "James," I choked out.

"I can tell when you're lying, Bella," He growled, looking daggers at me. "There's no use in saying it! If you really loved me, you'd _be_ with me!"

"Stop it," I begged. "Get off of me."

He shook his head. "I don't get you, you stupid insecure girl. Just get over yourself and do it." Thankfully he got off of me, leaving me to breathe for all of one second before he pulled me off of the bed roughly, throwing me onto the hardwood floor of my bedroom. He kicked me, hard, three times in my side as I gasped for air.

"Just… stop… fighting… me…!" he said angrily with each kick. He kicked me for a good two minutes, each one aimed at a different part of me, swift and sure.

He pulled me up off of the floor by my hair and I screamed. His eyes grew darker and he shoved me against the wall, slamming my head into the dented plaster. He used pressure against my throat with one hand, and against my ribs with the other, pushing me with all of his strength into the wall. It hurt so much I almost screamed again, except that I couldn't find the breath. I couldn't see where he was anymore; besides the dim light of the lamp, everywhere and everything was dark as clouds entered my vision. He let go of me and I slid to the floor.

James groaned again, yelling out a curse in a loud voice. "Why won't you just listen to me Bella?" he asked. "Why?"

I didn't answer.

He came towards me again, grabbing my shirt and pulling me towards him. "Huh, Bella? Is there someone else, perhaps? A certain boy named Hale that you still haven't gotten over? What are you, a stupid little first grader? Have a _stupid_ little crush on your _stupid_ friend?" he sneered as he shook my body roughly.

Tears were still streaming down my face, and I still didn't answer. He spit in my face and threw me against the wall with a loud **crack** sound coming from my head. He kicked me in the face when I was down and then left, cursing to himself and throwing crude comments back at me.

I lay there for only a second, then picked myself up off the floor and went back to bed. My tears became full sobs now and I tried to keep myself from hyperventilating without any avail.

This was getting worse; that was the worst beating I had gotten from him yet, and it scared me more than anything he'd ever said to me.

The room was dim, swirling in dark blue and grey tones. I wasn't sure if I should go to the hospital or not. The beatings had never had this much pain to my head; I could deal with the purple bruises, covering myself up and putting on makeup. But head injuries I couldn't write off.

I sat up and tried to stay awake, figuring a concussion was probably the worst of it, if that. I stayed up for a few hours, but ended up fainting with exhaustion somewhere near dawn, only to be awoken two hours later by the sound of my alarm, and another day of the same thing.

*********

**review PLEASE!! Even just a tiny review. please?? I do accept any criticism you can think of :) **

**LoLfEdward**


	3. The Party

**Here is chapter 3, Party.**

**By the by... I realize this story is a bit dark, and it seems depressing and at a stand still -she's in an abusive relationship, and that's all that is happening.**

**But more is coming, i promise. :) GOOD is coming. Happiness. Or... semi-happiness, confusion, love, then more happiness ;) **

**Okay i'll stop ranting now. :) Enjoy. **

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I lay in bed for ten full minutes, every bone and muscle in my tired body dreading the day. When I finally attempted to sit up, I found myself unable to move. Groaning, fresh tears leaking from my eyes, I finally did, turning on my small bed to face the mirror that hung above my dresser. I gasped.

A purple blotch in the outline of a hand surrounded one side of my throat, and there were matching bruises over my face, covering my cheeks and my left eye. Tears ran fast now as I stared at my reflection.

Trying not to think about James, or Jasper, or Rose, or my parents, or any of the pieces of my broken life, I lay back down in bed, resolved to stay in from school. I couldn't cover the bruises when they were this bad anyways.

Hours later I woke up in a daze and stared at the fading sun on the wall of my bedroom. I wasn't sure if James would show up or not, but I couldn't find any will to pull myself out of bed and take care of myself for him. So I fell asleep once more.

The next few days passed like this. I remember the phone ringing a few times, probably the school wondering where I was, but I didn't leave my room except to use the restroom. My cell phone lay still on my nightstand, and I could only assume James was too frustrated with me to bother with checking up on me.

Miserably, I realized I could probably be dead and no one would notice for days.

I missed a total of four days of school, and on Saturday morning I finally received a message from my boyfriend.

**Party tonight. Pick you up at 7.**

**-J**

I groaned as I read it, sitting up in bed and staring at my reflection like I had done a few days ago. Pondering my battered face, I figured I could cover most of the bruises. They'd faded the slightest bit, and some were even yellowing on the edges. I'd have to use make up for my neck and my stomach. James would want me to wear something "nice", since I would be going to the party as his trophy, and the stomach was just a precaution.

I showered and dried my hair, then relaxed (or attempted to) for the rest of the afternoon, even making myself a sandwich and cleaning the kitchen. Throughout the day, however, butterflies assaulted my stomach. There was no wondering about James' behavior tonight; there'd be drinking. James was a mean drunk.

Around 6 I started applying makeup; I caked on the foundation and cover-up, until there was only a hint of darkness around my eyes, neck and cheek. It was the best I could do, and nobody would ask anyways.

Just after I finished putting on some darker make up around my eyes (James liked me dressed up), the doorbell rang. I jumped and my heart started racing in anticipation in an unpleasant way. Glancing at the clock, I read 6:45. He was early.

I wondered why he didn't let himself in, but quickly ran to answer the door so he wouldn't be upset at having to wait. I stumbled into the front room, unlocking the door with unsteady hands and swung it open.

I gasped in surprise and had a brief moment of panic when I saw two girls there instead of James –especially since those girls were Rosalie Hale and Alice Cullen.

My heart calmed for a few seconds when I remembered I had already applied make up to my bruises, but then skipped unsteadily again when I grasped that James could be here anytime and they _couldn't_ be here.

I didn't realize I hadn't said anything until Rose laughed lightly. "Bella," she said quietly, "are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost." Her voice was unsure as she assessed me. Alice gazed at me quietly; she looked curious and appraising.

I blushed. "Yeah, sorry Rose," my words came out odd and stilted. "You caught me by surprise," I mumbled.

She nodded. "Well you missed school and all, so we got your assignments for you and thought we'd bring them over," she said with an almost cheery smile. She held up a manila folder full of papers and waved it around as proof.

"Oh, of course, thank you," I told her. I reached out for the folder, but just as I did James pulled up and my hand fell to my side quickly, as if it was shocked.

She quirked her eyebrow at me in question, then followed my gaze to the car that was just parking in my driveway. Her eyes narrowed as James stepped out of the car, shutting his door with a bang and strutting across the wet grass and to my front door. He glared at me briefly as he assessed the two girls standing in front of me.

"Bella," he said in greeting, coming to me and grabbing me around my waist. I suppressed a groan. "We have to get going," he told me, "why are they here?" I could tell he was trying to keep his voice calm and was failing at it.

"They brought me my homework, that's all," I replied in a monotonous voice, afraid to react. I reached out my hand for the folder for the second time, praying that my hand could remain steady.

Rosalie and Alice were glaring at James in a not-so-subtle way, and after half a minute Rose finally handed me the folder.

"Sorry Bella," Alice spoke up for the first time. "We weren't aware you were leaving, or we would've come earlier," she said, looking at me. I couldn't quite find the will to look directly into her eyes; despite the fact that I couldn't help but like her even though she was with Jasper Hale, I didn't want to betray any emotion while in this precarious situation –James glued to my side and the girls studying us like a science experiment.

James' eyes narrowed at her. "That's fine," James replied to her in a silky and dangerous voice; her eyes flew to him, studying him in the dim light of my porch. "But we really do need to go, so if you'll excuse us," he said, quickly pulling me into the house and shutting the door.

"I didn't --" I tried to defend myself but he put a hand over my lips to keep me quiet and peeked out of the curtain that covered the front window. After a minute he turned to me.

"They've left," he informed me, and I nodded mutely, staring at my feet. He snatched the thick folder from my hand, examined it, and then threw it on the table by the doorway.

"Why aren't you ready?" he asked suddenly.

"I had to answer the door," I told him. He rolled his eyes at me, as if I were making up lies and he thought it was pathetic, and pulled me upstairs to my bedroom.

I sat on my bed, my stomach in knots; James stood in front of my closet, examining my clothes. He grabbed a skirt that I'd never worn but he had bought for me in our first month of dating. It was black with lace, and fell a few inches above my knee; the bottom was jagged and torn to look styled. It wasn't at all like me, but I took it anyway. He then gave me a dark red tank top with lace on the top and one inch straps.

I took them, ignoring the part of my brain that wanted to scream at him; it was WINTER, in FORKS, and he wanted me to wear this? But I didn't have a choice, so I quickly went into the bathroom to change, coming out with a blush on my face and an uncomfortable feeling. I felt exposed, and hated that feeling around James and his friends.

When I walked into my room, James smiled at me –though you couldn't really call it a smile, since it made my stomach drop. He pulled me into him, kissing me roughly for a few minutes. His mouth moved to my neck, marking me like he had a few nights ago.

"You're so hot," he breathed into me, sucking on my skin. I bit my lip, holding back a grimace, and mumbled a pitiful, "Thanks."

He pulled back and kissed me, chastely, on my lips. Winking, he grabbed my hand, simultaneously handing me some black sandals from my bed and led me to his car. I grabbed a jacket, a nice leather one that he made me buy because he "thought it looked hot on me" on the way out.

The party was in full swing at Laurent's house when we pulled up. It was only around 7:30 and already the place was full of moving bodies.

I almost groaned when I saw the multiple kegs that lined up in the middle of the front room, girls and boys already swarmed around them like flies to honey.

"You driving tonight, babe?" James asked, though it was really a command. I never drank; I didn't want to, it was a disgusting habit to me. But I also told him I wanted to make sure he came home safely, so he didn't force me to.

He pulled me to a table in the back corner where Laurent, Victoria, Aro, and Marcus were already busy playing poker. A few other kids were sitting behind them, cheering them on and making stupid, drunken comments. James pulled me onto his lap, laying his hands across me as his greeting to everyone else. The guys nodded at him appreciatively. They gave me some stares, making me shiver with discomfort. James either didn't notice, or didn't care.

The night dragged on. James had a high tolerance for alcohol, but it wasn't long before he was drunk, slurring his bossy and rude comments that he kept making to everyone. The group had relocated to the couches that sat on the other side of the dark room, still continuing the poker game.

James had his hand just underneath my chest now, getting more risky with each beer he downed. Laurent was doing a weird dance in the middle of the room; it was a dare that James had put him up to when they decided poker was boring. He stopped doing his jig, and after a minute of confusion wondered back over to us, sitting on the couch on my other side. James was laughing his head off at him still, and Aro was throwing the cards above them in celebration of something. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head a little at their incredible stupidity.

"James," Laurent said suddenly. "How did you get Bella, eh? She's _hot_ tonight, man." He winked at me.

James stopped laughing and shrugged, as if blowing it off. "That's just me, man; I basically made her into this," he told him, winking at me, and studying my chest, and bending to kiss my shoulder. I blushed, glaring at the floor below me. Laurent laughed as he stared at me too.

James' hand traveled down to my lower back, lifting my tank top and fiddling with the lining of the skirt. I moved his hand, but he only moved it back.

"James," I warned. "_Stop_."

He glared menacingly and whispered in a low voice, "_Make me_."

I tried not to gulp, my hands shaking as I removed his hand once more, and sat back against the couch so he couldn't touch me there anymore.

He rolled his eyes at me, and then focused their dark blue on my lips. A split second later he was practically on top of me, kissing me passionately while his friends whistled. He grabbed my waist and pulled me forward, moving his hands behind me and down to my butt. His tongue roamed into my mouth and I grimaced at his taste, trying to move away, only to have him hold me tighter. After a minute the whistling stopped, his friends growing bored and moving on to another stupid sport. James removed himself from me, but not completely. His hands remained where they were for a moment, before moving to play with the lining of my skirt once more.

He smirked at me as I glared.

But the look on his face said it all. He won, and he always would.

After a few hours of torture, the drunken teenagers started wandering out, either to pass out on the front lawn or catch rides from their hopefully less drunk friends. It was around midnight when I convinced James that I needed to take him home.

He was completely wasted as dragged him into the car; I attempted to take the keys from him, but he glared at me with evil in his eyes.

"I can drive," he told me. His face dared me to protest.

I desperately wanted to, because I didn't want to die in a stupid drunk driving accident. But the grip that he had on my wrist was making me want to scream, so I simply nodded.

He was swerving a little, so every once in awhile I'd steady the wheel for him. He didn't seem to notice me, focusing on some other thought entirely.

I didn't realize until we were practically there that he was driving to his house.

"James, I need to get home," I told him, rolling my eyes. "What do you want me to do, walk?" I asked sarcastically as he pulled into his driveway. The lights to his house were dark, like always; as far as I knew his mom left when he was young and his dad wasn't around much –probably out doing the same thing to women that James did to me.

I shuddered as I thought about it.

"I want you to come inside," James said his voice smooth for being drunk. He got out of his car, and I considered not exiting at all; I had no desire to go in there with him. But he opened my door and held out his hand for me.

"I should go home," I told him; I could tell my voice was basically a plea, but I didn't care. He shook his head and dragged me through the front door.

His house was dark, and messy. The T.V. stood in the corner of the front room, but that was all the light that shone. James didn't bother turning on any lights as he guided me, half pulling me, to the back hall where his bedroom was.

I had only been in there a few times; the majority of our time was spent at my house, which he preferred. I flicked on the light since he didn't bother and examined the small space. He had a double bed, the sheets all tangled up and half off of the mattress. There was a small window that led to the front yard, but I had never seen it opened so I assumed it was painted shut. The walls were boring and white, with nothing but a few heavy metal band posters hanging on them, and a dent the size of his fist marking the nearest one. The floor was littered with old clothes, and the stench coming from the items and the area in general made me wrinkle my nose with distaste.

James sat on his bed and stared at me, as if he only just realized he had dragged me with him to his house. He had let go of my hand when I turned on the light. I took an automatic step back.

"James, I really need to go home and sleep," I said, trying to keep the annoyance out of my voice as it would only aggravate him.

"I don't want you to," he snapped. He stood up and walked two paces until he was just in front of me, our bodies practically against each other. Then in a calmer voice, and with a small smirk he whispered in my ear, "Just relax; you'll stay here with me tonight."

I gulped. "No, James, I don't want—"

He rolled his eyes, and shut me up by kissing me. Somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered how that was _ever_ romantic in the movies.

"James," I said around his lips, pushing his chest a little, "get off, I want to leave."

"No," he growled, pulling back and glaring. "Just relax, and _be with me_."

I backed up a step, turning to walk out the door; James pulled be back with a sharp jerk, grabbing my arm and pushing me onto his bed. I screamed, before he placed a hand over my mouth. Swiftly and with steady hands he pushed my tank top up so that my stomach was exposed. Bending over me, he studied the bruises there for a second, as if contemplating a picture. I tried to push him off with my hands, but he moved his hand from my mouth to my wrists and held them tightly.

"Bella," he hissed in a quiet voice, "this wouldn't happen if you'd just…" he sighed, "if you'd just _listen_. Just listen, Bella."

I shook my head, tears in my eyes.

He continued, "We're supposed to be together like this, in order for you to really love me. I was wrong before," he told me as he slipped his hand underneath the fabric of my tank top, around my back and to the hook on my bra. He fiddled with it as he spoke. "It wasn't that you can't sleep with me because you didn't love me," he said with assurance. "You can't love me until you sleep with me," he told me, unhooking my bra with one hand while the other still held my wrists.

"James," I whispered. "Please don't."

He ignored me, ducking down and kissing my neck. He sucked harshly, and breathed heavily, working himself up. I gasped as the hand that had unhooked my bra clawed my back.

"Shh," he told me. "Just relax."

"No," I cried out. "Stop!"

James clawed me harder, and I felt drops of blood oozing from my back. He looked at me, smirking, before grabbing at my tank top and yanking it above my head.

I shook my head, in more panic now than ever, and thrashed out. He moaned, holding one of my legs still with his body weight, while moving his tongue to my exposed stomach.

I was sobbing now. "James, _please_," I begged, "_please_ get off!" He ignored me, continued to kiss my skin, while his hands roamed my back and down to my butt. He paused for a split second before sliding my skirt down, his fingers moving to the lining of my underwear.

I kicked out again, the knee that he wasn't weighing on hitting him across the face, and miraculously knocking him to the floor. Using all the strength I had left I snatched my tank top, pulled my skirt up from where it was around my knees, and ran.

I stumbled as I attempted to escaped and pull my tank top on simultaneously, tripping a few times but catching myself before I hit the ground. I made it out of his house and continued running, running, running.

After ten solid minutes of running, I was lost.

Alone. I stared around at me, wondering where I was and how to get home. Still sobbing and trying desperately to keep myself standing straight up, I started walking towards a park.

Examining the nearest street sign I realized I had run the opposite direction from my house.

I cried in desperation before I thought about my cell phone, in the hidden pocket of my skirt.

I cried more in some kind of relief when I found it, thankful it hadn't fallen out when he had pulled it off me, or I had run.

I sobbed as the memories of just a few minutes ago flooded my mind. I collapsed onto the nearest park bench, hugging myself and wondering what the heck I was supposed to do.

Even with my cell phone, who was I going to call?

My mind immediately flashed to the police, but I suppressed that thought. Somehow I couldn't get the guts to call them; besides if I did call them, my dad _would_ find out… And this abuse, this torture that I was living in… I just didn't want my parents to know. They'd be so disappointed in me. After all, I said yes to James in the first place.

And it got me here.

Would they believe me anyway? James had a lot of people on his side, and I had no one.

I had no other friends, no real ones anyway, who'd be willing to help me. Laurent and Victoria were wasted besides that fact that they would only laugh at me and tell James where I was.

Then, I had an epiphany. Without stopping to think about it, I flipped open my phone, scrolled through the numbers to the R's.

I pressed call and waited, still sobbing. It was almost to the answering machine when she finally picked up.

"Hello?" she snapped her voice groggy. She paused a second then asked in a surprised voice, "Bella?"

"Rose," I breathed, my voice shaking. "I need your help."

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**I love Rose :) (She's a coming to the rescue!)**

**Please review :) It would mean sooo much. It's a bit depressing putting time into a story with no one reviewing you. I have hits on this story, but if i got some reviews too.... :) please??**

**I accept anonymous reviews too, so please, please do!!**

**love, love, love,**

**LoLfEdward**


	4. Help

**I was feeling inspired, so i updated suppperrr soon. :)**

**And i always forget the disclaimer!!! I don't own twilight, or any of the characters, just my little plot :) **

**Here ya go!!**

* * *

The car ride was silent, and awkward. It was filled with confusion on her part, shame on mine, and a general feeling of distance.

"Bella?" Rose asked, her voice a whisper. "Are you okay?"

I didn't know how to speak quite yet, so I settled for a shrug. Tears were streaking silently down my face. I'm sure I didn't look okay.

She glanced at me, pity and fear in her eyes, then focused on the road.

Once again, I didn't observe our destination until we were almost there. I shuddered, thinking of only half an hour ago when James pulled the same trick on me.

"Bella?" Rose asked, noticing.

"Why are we here?" I asked quietly, staring at the street sign which read Becker St. It was the first full sentence I had spoken. I had only been able to sob out my location over the phone call; Rosalie had hurried to the park, rushing out of her car and holding me for a who knows how long as I sobbed into her shoulder. I hadn't told her anything though, despite her constant stream of questions and worry as she held me. Then she helped me into her car, turned up the heater for me and drove.

"I'm not taking you home, Bella," Rose told me blankly, looking at me seriously. She turned onto her street, driving quickly to the Hale household. "He'll know where to find you there."

I blinked at her; I hadn't spoken a word of James, yet somehow she knew…

Yet again, Rosalie was smart, and intuitive. I'm sure she knew something was up ever since I stopped talking to her.

She parked the car in her garage, then quickly walked to my side and helped me out.

As she brought me, gently pulling my arm, into her house I looked around, biting my lip. The sight wasn't new to me as I had spent endless days here during the summer and the years before. But I didn't want to be here if I was just going to be seen by her parents, or worse, her brother.

Rose said, "They aren't here. My parents are out of town until tomorrow night, and Jasper is at a friend's house, I think," she explained, as if reading my thoughts. I nodded lightly, sniffing a little and hugging myself. I stared her pale face as she studied me with a serious expression. There were circles under her eyes that were most likely from lack of sleep.

"Rose," I said, "you don't have to…" I blushed, realizing how embarrassing and awkward this whole situation was. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to call you this late, and wake you up and drag you out of your house, and—"

She cut me off abruptly, holding my hand in hers gently. "Bella, stop. I'm glad you called," she told me firmly; she sighed, looking me up and down. I looked too, realizing with horror that the make-up was probably wearing off, besides the new marks on my neck and the dried blood from when he clawed me. The thought of him made me shiver once more, and I felt another few tears leak from my eyes.

"Bella," Rose said softly, "come here." She pulled me into a gentle hug and more crying erupted from me. "Shh," she soothed me, "its okay, and I'm here with you. He isn't here. I am."

After a few minutes she pulled me to the couch in her living room. "Bella, what happened?" she wondered quietly, focusing her stare directly on me. I looked away; I could feel my face paling and my hands shaking.

"Did he…" she trailed off uncertainly and an ugly, shrewd look came on her beautiful face. "Did he try something? Did he hurt you?"

I blinked at her, biting my lip. Then I nodded, to both.

She shook her head, but not in denial, in anger; it was a few minutes before she could form a coherent sentence, and when she did it came out as a hiss. "How long?"

I merely shrugged, unsure of what she really wanted to hear from me; Rose made her own assumption from my face, and cussing under her breath she stood up, pulling me–still gently—and leading me into her bathroom, just down the hall.

"Wash your face," she told me, her voice shaking a little, "it'll help you relax." Then she left, moving around in her room which was just across the hall. I did as she instructed, grimacing at the bruises that revealed themselves as the foundation washed away. When Rose came back in carrying a pair of sweats she stopped abruptly, swearing loudly and reaching to touch my face. I flinched, and she stopped.

"Sorry," she told me, while glaring at my bruises. "That son of a…"

"Rose, you aren't going to… tell someone, are you?" I asked in a small and desperate voice.

She stared at me blankly as she dropped the pants onto the counter, then said loudly, "Bella, how can I _not_?" I flinched again at the sound of her voice echoing in the tiled room, and looked at the floor.

"Rosalie, I can't… Just, please don't," I told her, shivering a little. I still stared at the floor.

"Bella, the police have got know. I was going to tell you in the morning, you know my father is a lawyer, and he can help you out if it came to testifying or—"

"No," I gasped. "I don't want to do that, and I can't have anyone, not even the police, or your dad, know about this!" My voice was stronger as I looked her in the eye. "Rose, please just believe me. I can… handle this. I'm okay with this, I can—"

"How on _earth_ are you okay with this, Bella?" Rosalie shot at me, her eyes wide. "You aren't handling this at all! And you most certainly shouldn't be putting up with whatever is going on over there! Bella, you need to tell someone." Her hands were shaking once more.

"No, I don't," I said in a calm voice. "Rosalie, I know what I'm doing."

"And what are you doing?" she asked swiftly.

I stared for a moment at my battered reflection. "I'm just… waiting until he gets bored," I muttered. "There isn't anyone that will believe me," I told her before she could interrupt again, waving my hands around to enunciate my point. "He has too many fake alibis and friends that will back him up. I can't get out of this, so all I can do is… wait," I sighed, another tear making its way down my cheek. I looked back at her and my hands fell at my sides. "Rose, telling them won't do anything." My voice broke.

She shook her head at me, frowning. "Bella, we could show them your bruises," she said in an obvious voice.

I shook my head. "He'd tell them someone else did it. Someone else would be blamed for his mistakes, and I don't want anyone else arrested because he can lie."

She rolled her eyes. "You don't know that, they could find something."

"What will they find?" I asked monotonously. I sighed once more. "The only proof is me, but the bruises will fade and then no one will believe me."

She tried again. "They'll believe if we _both_ tell them! We can set him up, and get a camera, or something…"

"And risk him finding out and beating you up too?" I asked in shock. "Rose, you can't get involved in this."

"I already am, Bella," she said pointedly, with fierceness in her tone. "You're my best friend, even if he's been keeping you away from me for months! I won't let you go back to him!"

My heart was touched; she still considered us close even though I'd been rude, avoiding her because I was told to for the last 5 months. It was silent for a few minutes as she glared at the wall in frustration and I pondered the situation. Things were different when she was involved. I should have never called her, yet… What would have happened if she hadn't shown up? What if James was sober enough to catch up with me?

I stared at her, and she stared at me. It was another minute before I realized she was crying, too.

"Rose?" I said quietly.

Suddenly she was sobbing. I brought my arms around her, naturally, as if no time had passed since summer when we held each other all the time. "What's wrong?" I asked quickly.

"You, Bella. I can't believe…" she bawled more, her tears falling on my shoulder. "I can't believe this happened to you. _Why you?"_ she asked. "Why did he have to get to you?"

"Shh," I soothed her now, feeling calm in being able to comfort her. "Rose, it isn't anyone's fault, it just happened…"

"Why didn't I do something then? Gosh, I am such an idiot," she moaned. "I could tell something was up. Everyone else wouldn't look at the situation closely enough to see it, and they wouldn't believe me! Alice agreed something was off, but she doesn't know you as well as I do, and… Gosh, Bella, I'm so sorry!" she cried.

"Stop it," I scolded. "This isn't your fault, Rosalie."

She pulled back from crying on me to look at my face. "Bella, look what he did to you…" she whispered, examining my face and lightly touching the marks on my neck. "He's sick…"

I shrugged, trying to block out the images that continually attempted to assault my mind of how the marks and bruises got there. But whenever I saw the new bruises and felt the marks on my back the visions pelted me. I couldn't stop myself from whimpering slightly, and Rose automatically pulled her hand back, only to reach forward and stroke my hair gently.

"Bella, please let me help you," she said. "We can tell someone, even just one person at first. The adults can help; they'll know what to do."

"Rosalie, trust me when I tell you not to do that."

"What other options are there, Bella?" she asked stubbornly. "It's either go back to your house, where he'll find you and do this," she said, pointing to the mirror, "again. Or you can go tell the police, and be free."

"I won't be free," I whispered, staring at the reflection once more. The difference between our figures was striking and depressing. Her beautiful reflection looked perfect compared to my ugly, bruised one.

"You can be," she argued.

I shook my head. "Rose, you don't realize how many people he influences. Laurent, for instance, was not such a bad guy last year… But the more he hangs out with James the worse he is. He'll do anything for him, all of his friends will! He has power over people. There are too many people out there who will make my life, and yours, and our families lives hell if we tell on him."

Rose shook her head again. "Bella, please, there has to be some way… The police know how to handle this," she tried assuring me.

It didn't work. I folded my arms around myself, trying to keep myself together as I denied the one thing I wished I could do, but was too much of a wimp to actually do it. "Rose, I don't want to risk anything. I can handle it right now… I'm just scared," I admitted. "I don't want to tell anyone right now, it's too frightening."

Rose looked at me with a mixture of pity and sadness in her eyes. She rubbed my arm gently. "Sweetie, you aren't handling it though… What happened tonight?" she asked gently.

I shook my head, mumbling, "It was just… he was just drunk, and he tried…" I started sobbing again, and it was her turn to hold me in her arms.

"Bella, honey, I don't want you to be hurt again. Don't go back home without telling someone. Please."

I shook my head. "I need to Rose. I don't have another option."

"Yes, you do."

"Rose," I said seriously. I looked her straight in the eye. "Don't tell anyone. Promise me you won't."

She started shaking her head, so I spoke again. "I promise to be careful," I whispered in an assuring voice. "And I'll call you… if you don't mind that is…" I trailed off.

"Bella, call me. Please, so I know you're alright," she spoke quietly. "Don't ever NOT call me, okay?" she commanded, squeezing my hand.

I nodded. "Okay," I told her.

She sighed. "I can't change your mind, can I? You always were the most stubborn…"

I smiled briefly, the first time in a while I had. "That's me."

She shook her head, rolling her eyes at me but smiling kindly, too. "Here sweetie, change into these, and meet me in my room."

Ten minutes later we were sitting close to each other on her bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Rose, I'm sorry I dragged you into this," I whispered, a guilty feeling that I hadn't been able to shake since calling her making its way into my stomach again.

She turned to me in the dark and I could feel her glare. "Bella, don't say that. I'm so, so glad you called me," she said quietly. "I worried about you a lot you know."

I grimaced. "I wish you didn't."

"I wish there wasn't reason to."

We were silent for awhile, but I turned to her before I allowed myself to sleep.

"Rose, I can't show him that you helped me," I told her. She opened her mouth to say something but I hushed her. "Just… let me go about things like they were before. I'll act like things are normal, and… I don't know," I admitted. "That's all I can do," I said.

She grabbed by hand, patting it and I felt her turn to me. I could just make out her face in the dark. "Bella, we'll figure something out. Just… call me when you need me, okay? Anytime. And in the mean time… we'll figure something out."

I nodded, sniffling a little, but smiling too.

"Thank you, Rosalie."

"I love you, Bells. I missed you."

* * *

James was angry with me for running out on him, but since me leaving him in the middle of "making out" was all he remembered, I wasn't beat too hard. He didn't know where I went, and I was home Sunday morning before he stumbled over so no questions were asked.

Monday passed without incident except that James was not courteous and fake like he always tried to be in front of the other students. At lunch he rolled his eyes at me repeatedly, even cussing me out for grabbing the wrong thing in the lunch line. I sighed, taking it since that's the only option I had. I saw Rose staring at us from the other side of the cafeteria, but I didn't say hi and neither did she. We decided to act like nothing had happened between us and we still weren't friends.

Tuesday was more or less the same.

Wednesday passed boringly.

Thursday however, James had been drinking. I swear he couldn't go more than a few days without breaking into his dad's stash. He came to my house, drunk, and started pushing me around, not even bothering to try to make out with me.

After cussing me out for a few minutes he hit me across the head, making me fall dizzily in the front room. I gasped as he kicked my ribs where they were already bruised, and then pulled me up by my hair. I couldn't help screaming, and of course he smacked me for making noise.

It was one of his worse nights; he was done bullying me after half an hour, leaving the house with a bang of the front door.

Whimpering in pain, bruises forming over my neck, legs face and sides, I limped to the phone in the kitchen. Rose's number was engrained in my memory, so I dialed her quickly, staring at the clock that read 9:37.

"Hello?" Rose's voice answered.

"Rose?" I said making sure. I tried to breathe normally.

"Bella? Hold on, just one second." I heard her moving on the other line, voices asking questions that I couldn't make out in the background. After a few long seconds she was back on. "Bella, you still there? Sorry Jasper and Alice are over, so…"

"Oh," I responded, blushing to myself. "Sorry, Rosalie I didn't mean to—"

"B, don't give me that. Is everything okay? Are you alright?" she asked quickly.

I almost started crying again; instead I took a deep, shaky breath and whispered, "Rose, he hit me again…" I took another breath. "I think he might've broken a rib," I mumbled.

She gasped over the phone line, and I heard her curse. "Bella I'm coming over, okay? He's gone right?"

I nodded before realizing she couldn't see that. "Yes, he's gone," I told her.

Within ten minutes Rose had raced to my house, which was on the opposite side of the town as hers. Forks was small though, and the distance had never bothered us before. I'd walked to her house when I was younger. She knocked on the door lightly, and I peered through the window before letting her in.

"Bella," she cried, seeing me. I hadn't checked how I looked yet, so I shrugged at her, tearing up again. "Oh, Bella. Come here," she muttered, leading me to the bathroom across from my room.

Relief battled with guilt as she helped me change my clothes, which had some blood on them from a cut I had on my neck. I couldn't even remember getting it, but I could vaguely recall a knife. When I told her that I wished I hadn't.

"He had a knife?" she all but shrieked. "Why can't you remember that?"

I sighed. "I hit my head."

"You mean he hit it for you," she muttered darkly as she peered into my eyes. "I don't think you have anything wrong, I can't see signs of a concussion… You always were hard headed," she said, almost joking but her face never smiling.

I shrugged again, still feeling guilty and bad.

I tried apologizing for taking her away from friends but she brushed it off, almost glaring at me when I continued.

"Bella, please don't hesitate. I can't help you in any way but this…" she said, sighing in a desperate way. "Please let me help you." The look on her face was so serious that I only nodded and hugged her.

After I was cleaned up, in fresh clothes with some medicine on my cuts, Rose sat us down on my bed. She stared at me sadly for a few moments before asking, "When will this stop, Bella?" I assumed it was a rhetorical question so I didn't respond. "He was fine for a few days, right? He didn't hit you earlier?" she continued.

I shook my head. "Not enough to cause alarm anyways," I told her quietly. "Nothing really physical."

"I don't get it. Is there a pattern? Is it something you do that gets him mad?" Something dawned in her eyes. "Did he try something again?"

"No," I told her. "But I wonder if that's why he was mad… He was yelling at me for that, and I think he just came from another girl's house…" I trailed off, unsure but not bothered with it. James was always random and angry at something. Usually it was me, and for whatever reason he could come up with.

A look of disgust came on Rosalie's face and her blue eyes filled with hatred. "He's sleeping with other girls, but hits you for doing _nothing_?"

I nodded, staring at the quilt underneath us, fiddling with a loose thread.

"Bells, please," she started.

I cut her off with a sharp shake of my head; it hurt my neck so I closed my eyes in pain. "Rose, don't. I told you no."

She sighed, and I opened my eyes to see tears shining in her pretty blue ones.

"Rose," I said, trying to put comfort in my tired voice. "I'm alright; see, I'm here and sitting up and everything. At least I'm not in a ditch." I smiled lightly even though it wasn't at all humorous.

"That's not funny, Bella," she snapped, "you could be lying down, unable to reach the phone or even speak…"

"But I'm not. And you're here helping me." I showed her a real smile this time. "You can't imagine how much that means to me," I told her, taking her hand and squeezing it.

She smiled back, though her eyes were still watery. "I know, B. I just wish there was some way to be with you all the time, you know? Some way to make sure all the time… I mean I can't even talk to you at school without you getting hurt," she cried. Then her eyes lit up. "Bella, it isn't fool proof or anything, but you should show me some signal or something, just so I know everything is alright!"

I almost laughed at her enthusiasm on the subject. "Rose, what's the point of a signal; if I'm in front of you then you'll see me standing, obviously alright. And it isn't like I know when James is going to start hitting me until it happens..."

She nodded, frowning. "Okay, then I guess we don't have to do that at school… But for when you're home… What if you turned all the lights on, or opened the curtains or something like that when you're okay?"

"And close them when I'm not?" I asked, frowning too.

"Bella," she said seriously, "I can't take the chance that you won't _be able_ to call me one of these times. I'll drive by your house before I go to bed each night—"

"Rosalie that's ridiculous," I started, but she interrupted.

"And that way I can see if you're alright," she finished. "Don't give me that crap about ridiculous, because I care enough to do it. I will do it, Bella."

Tears formed in my eyes again; I was touched by something as simple as a drive by every night.

"Thanks Rose," I told her after a moment. "But what do you want me to do?" I asked.

She thought for a moment, staring down at the floor. Finally, she said, "Keep the blinds to the front room open when he isn't here, and closed when he is. I assume he closes them when he hits you?" she asked, wrinkling her nose and shaking her head in disgust.

I nodded. "He's careful about it usually," I muttered.

"Okay, then just keep them closed whenever he is here. If he's still here when I check up on you, then I'll…" she trailed off hesitantly, "call you?"

I shook my head. "There's no telling what he'll do, he's unpredictable. Just… drive by again half an hour after that or something," I suggested. "If he's still here around 11:00 then maybe call?" it came out as a question. "But he'll get suspicious."

"You call me every night, or text me or something. If he's been here past 11:00, and you haven't called, then I'll come in. Sound good?"

I agreed, sighing to myself, but with a little of the weight that bore down on my shoulders lifted. Even with the guilt of putting Rosalie through all this worry over something we both couldn't help, it was nice to know that she was there.

* * *

**OKee dokee... PLEASE REVIEW!! and thank you, thank you, thank you to those who did :) **

**love, love, love,**

**LoLfEdward!**


	5. Beaten

**So this chapter covers a lot, and i sense that you're bored with the abuse... This does have more in it, but after this there won't be as much, because... well, read and find out :)**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

I stared at the pile of homework that awaited me in the corner of my bedroom. I wouldn't have time to do it until much later, I knew, but I still entertained myself by making a plan in my head of which assignment I would do first.

_English first, I have that essay about parallelism in literature… And I have to read twenty more pages in Animal Farm. Then biology, since I'm failing that class miserably, _I thought_. I should probably reread that chapter so I won't bomb the test on Tuesday… _

I sighed to myself as the sound of a car door slamming made its way through my window from the driveway. Peering out the window, I spotted him almost to the front door already. I turned away from the window, ignoring the stack of books that I didn't get to do until he left later tonight…

"Bella, where are you?" James called from the entry way. I quickly paced down the stairs and gave a short wave.

"Here," I replied stiffly.

He rolled his eyes at me, but grinned as he stared me up and down. He always knew the best ways to make me feel like a piece of meat within two seconds of him arriving.

I hoped to ignore his presence for at least another minute, so I walked past him and into the kitchen, wanting to get something to eat.

"Where are you going?" James demanded, keeping up with me.

"To get some food," I replied, "I didn't eat lunch."

"That's because you aren't supposed to," he told me blankly. "And you aren't allowed to have dinner either."

I turned to glare at him; it wasn't the smartest move, heck it wasn't a wise move AT ALL, but lately I was craving the need to stand up to him _somehow_. It was probably that I was speaking to Rose now; having something to live for, and someone who cares about you has an effect.

"Well I want something," I snapped at him, moving on to the fridge which wasn't much stocked since he never let me eat.

He grabbed my arm, enticing me in a tight hold that was quickly cutting off all circulation.

"Excuse me?" he asked in a quiet, dangerous voice.

This was the part where my defiance quickly blew out, and that little flame of hope was squashed.

I was never able to stand up to him for long; his will, so much stronger than my own, beat me every time—literally. Not to mention that I was small and weak from lack of food and sleep defieciency, and James was tall and stronger than the average man.

Pain shot through my arm as it quickly fell asleep and I whimpered. Quickly, I stuttered, "N-never mind. I don't need anything."

He nodded. "That's right, Bella," he said in a falsely sweet voice. He let go of my arm and wrapped his arms around my small frame in a sturdy restraint. "You know it isn't healthy for you to eat," he told me, whispering in my ear. "And you know you'll just gain of that weight back that we worked so hard to lose before." He stroked my hair, running his hand down my back and across my ribs which poked out beneath my skin. He grabbed my wrist, not lightly, and wrapped his fingers around them; his fingers almost doubled the circumference of my thin wrist which looked like skin and bone.

"Right," I whispered. James smiled in approval and held me at arms length to look at me.

"Why are you wearing that ratty shirt?" he asked with a frown. "You're with me tonight, go put some effort into your appearance, won't you?" He gave me a shove to the stairs; I stumbled, but caught myself and went to choose an appropriate outfit. Of course his version of appropriate was barely anything at all. I suppressed a groan.

After picking out some shorts and a tight black shirt that showed a bit too much for my taste, I returned to the kitchen. He was sitting at the table, eating a bag of potato chips that had been in my pantry for a few weeks.

My stomach grumbled. The last time I ate had been late last night, after James had left. I'd had an apple, and then gone to bed. This morning he had picked me up from school and hadn't allowed me to eat breakfast or lunch, insisting I was still a little weighty.

James looked up, and instantly gave me a one over. He smiled in approval, and then shoved the chips away, reaching out for me and motioning for me to sit on his lap. I did so.

"You look hot, babe," he said in a would-be sultry voice. I tried to smile in thanks, but couldn't manage it.

"What's wrong?" he asked. "Something bothering you?"

I stared at him, knowing this was one of his tricks. James was only trying to get me to confess something that would make him angry. So I shook my head and put an effort into my smile, barely pulling it off.

"No, of course not," I replied.

He stared into my eyes, managing to make me feel overpowered, defenseless in his lap, and scared all at once. "Good," he said. Then he stood up, leading me to the couch in my living room, and flipping on the TV. He set me by his side and stared at the TV.

I was bored with the mindless sitcom he was watching, but I didn't move. This was the safest I got around James, at least when we were alone. Hopefully he wouldn't bother with me for much longer tonight; I could get my homework done, and read, and maybe make some dinner…

The TV flipped off, and it took me a moment to register that James hadn't done it. The only light came from the moon that shone through the closed blinds.

James cursed. "Power outage," he muttered darkly, getting up to peer out the window. Sure enough the whole street was out. The rain that had been beating furiously all day was now mixed in with lightning and thunder.

He turned back to me. "Well it's only," he looked at his cell phone, "6 o'clock," he grumbled. "What are we supposed to do now?" he continued sarcastically. I was pretty sure I knew what he was getting at, and his tone created knots in my stomach.

He came down to sit beside me, reaching for my hand. He started tickling my arm lightly, smirking at me, and trying to be flirty. "What will you do to entertain me, babe?" he asked quietly.

I shrugged, my hands shaking a little. He frowned as if he noticed, and held my hand tighter in his. "Well," he said. "We'll figure it out as we go along, won't we, gorgeous?" His hand traveled up my arm and to my shoulder. His other hand wrapped around my waist and he pulled me to him. But he didn't kiss me, and I stared at him in surprise. His eyes were staring into mine, as if he were trying to figure something out.

"What is it?" I asked after a long minute. My breathing was unsteady and I was afraid of whatever was running through his head. Prepared as I had been to being subjected to kiss him, the suspense was making my heart race in a painful way.

"Bella," he said seriously, his grip still firm, "why don't you ever _try_ to kiss _me_?"

I blinked at him. "What?"

"I'm _always_ the one," he said, and he shook me a little, "who comes on to you. It makes a guy feel a little… a little _hurt_, Bella." He stared at me with dark eyes. "Why don't you be a good girlfriend for once, huh? Kiss me, Bella. Make out with me in front of our friends; it would be nice to be appreciated," he whispered in a sinister voice.

I was shaking a lot now, but you couldn't tell in the grip he had over me. "James, I…" I was at a loss for words. His hands squeezed tighter over my shoulder and waist, so I did the only thing I could think of to make him calm down, and I kissed him.

He quickly slipped his tongue out, breathing heavily and pulling me against his chest. I stopped after a moment, wondering how much he'd make me do. He stared at me with daggers in his eyes.

"Bella, you'll have to do better than that," he murmured sweetly –or I think that's what he was going for. "Convince me, Bella. Don't you care for me at all? _Don't you love me?_"

No matter how many times I lied to him and told him out loud that I loved him, he never believed me. I couldn't blame him; he wasn't stupid, and I was an atrocious liar. But of course James didn't want me to really love him; he just wanted me to make out with him. So I ducked back in, kissing him as roughly as I could with my lack of energy to make him feel better. I wondered if I was what he really wanted, or if he was just using me to pass the time. My heart broke a little each time I thought about how he used me, how I really meant nothing to him.

"Come on Bella," he moaned.

I sighed, and James pinched me in my side. Jumping a little, I grabbed his face in mine, kissing him with as much fake passion as I could. I stood up a little off of the couch and straddled him, feeling uncomfortable and dirty for kissing him like this. He was the one who initiated everything, like he said. Doing this on purpose… It was almost as bad as being forced to kiss him back.

He smiled around my lips, and I moved from those to his cheek, giving him small pecks and kisses until I made it to his neck. He was panting, and squeezed me tighter against him, kissing my neck too, and pushing off the sleeve of my shirt to expose my shoulder. He kissed me there for a moment.

"Bella," he whispered, and I shuddered.

He mistook it for pleasure. James grabbed my face and pulled it to his, kissing me on my lips once more, while his hands traveled to my lower back, one to my butt and one up the back of my shirt.

I tried to pull back, sensing he felt like pushing it tonight. But he gripped me tighter, and moved the hand on my butt to the back of my head so I couldn't move away from him.

As the minutes wore on James only got worse, going as far as feeling me up completely and trying to stick his hands down my shorts. When I protested he slapped me, hard, with fury, and knocked me to the ground. The lack of energy from my sleep deprivation and the fact that I hadn't eaten in almost 24 hours had me gasping for air when he kissed me too long, and helplessly lying against him when he forced me down. I was powerless and he knew it. He liked it.

He was sick.

After about twenty minutes of using me, the lights flickered on and the TV came back to life. James pulled back, grabbed the remote and shut it off again. He moved back on top of me. I didn't even have time to sigh in relief, or gasp in horror.

I didn't have the energy or the will to kiss him back or fight him off. I mostly lay there, except when he told me to keep trying, and threatened me.

"James," I mumbled, pulling back when I was shaking so badly I thought I might be sick, "I need to use the restroom."

He groaned and continued tonguing the front of my neck, moving down too far. My stomach twisted as I thought about how far he went that night a few weeks back. "James, really," I pleaded.

He jerked me away from him, as if I shocked him, and shouted, "Fine, go! Way to kill it, Bella!" He pushed me a little, and stood up swiftly, walking away.

I didn't process anything, except making it to the bathroom. I shut the door, and turned to the porcelain bowl; I dry heaved for a minute, but nothing was in my stomach to expel. Tears in my eyes, I sat on the floor, against the wall. I wondered how much time I'd have before he'd come looking for me.

It was only a few minutes. But it wasn't what I expected.

"Babe?" he called. "You okay?"

I sighed, standing up and opening the door. I wasn't allowed to complain, I knew. "Yes, I'm fine," I told him; he was standing against the opposite wall in the small hallway.

He nodded. "It was probably whatever you ate last. That's why you shouldn't eat so much," he said in a persuasive voice, "you'll only get sick if we're going to do that all the time." He winked, and came to me from across the hall. "And I really, really enjoyed that, Bella," he told me in a low voice. "We should do it more often."

I didn't say anything as he pulled me to my bedroom, pushing me down and straddling my body. Suddenly, his cell phone rang from his back pocket. He paused midway of kissing me, pulling back quickly to read his message. He stared at the phone for a minute, smiling, and replying, before shutting it and looking at me as if he only just noticed our position.

"Sorry, gorgeous, I have another meeting to attend to." It was Victoria, then. I rolled my eyes, unable to stop myself.

"Well," he snapped, "if you don't like it then maybe you should learn what to do to change it." I only stared back at him; I _wasn't_ going to give myself to him like she did so willingly. He stared at me expectantly, and when I didn't say anything he became angry. He slapped me, and then grabbed my jaw tightly in his hand.

"Listen, girl. You're lucky that I even put up with you. If it wasn't for your body," he said, shaking me and grabbing my chest, "then I wouldn't bother. You're lucky," he repeated. He continued feeling me up for a moment while I squirmed underneath him, then chuckled, getting off me.

"I'll see you tomorrow, maybe," he said, leaving my room.

I sighed, laying there for a long while. I hugged myself, and closed my eyes in relief that he was gone. James was getting friskier, and demanding more of me lately. I wouldn't tell Rose half of what he made me do because she only continued asking to call the police and it was worse after those nights.

But he hadn't hit me too much, luckily. I looked over at the glowing clock on my nightstand. It read 7:15. I sat up, stretching my arms and back from the position I'd been in most of the evening. I wondered down to the kitchen, pondering a small meal. But the thought of James himself made me sick to my stomach now, and it wriggled uncomfortably. I decided to skip the food, and went back upstairs to start on homework.

I was having trouble concentrating, too worked up and shaky from his visit. I kept unconsciously looking over at the door and out the window to make sure he wouldn't return. He said he was at Victoria's, or at least I assumed he was and I figured he'd be there late into the night. But even that thought couldn't help me calm down.

I needed Rose. Even though I wouldn't tell her exactly what happened tonight, she always calmed me down. I grabbed my cell phone, checking the doorway once more, and then dialed her number.

"Bella?" she checked when she picked up. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine," I told her. "James just left a few minutes ago."

"Oh," she said. There was a brief silence. "What did he do?"

I shook my head even though she couldn't see it and put my head in my hand. "Nothing… physically damaging," I told her truthfully. _Only emotionally and spiritually and mentally_, I thought.

As if she could sense that, she continued, "Did he make you uncomfortable again?" Her voice made it clear she knew exactly what he had done, or tried to do.

I sighed over the phone line. "Yes," I replied in a small voice.

She cursed, something she did often when his name was a topic of our conversations, and said, "I'm sorry, Bella. Can I do anything for you?"

"No, Rose, I just…. Want to be distracted," I said honestly.

She chuckled. "I can do that," she said quickly. Rosalie continued filling me in on the latest gossip with her group of friends. She talked all about Alice's cousin that was coming in to town to live with her for the rest of high school. "I've seen his picture Bella, and he is _fine_," she laughed.

I laughed with her. "I'm sure you'll make a cute couple," I told her lightly. She laughed again.

"We will," she stated conceitedly. After a while I was calm enough to get off the phone, and I said goodbye so I could get to the pile of homework that was staring at me.

* * *

The next day at school, James held me on a tight leash as always. However with the new information that Rosalie had told me the previous night, I found myself focusing on other things, daydreaming about her life and home, and how it could've been if I hung around with her still.

Apparently Alice was a shopaholic, and she and Rose went to the mall at least once a week. Jasper was deep into some college history course he was taking, and was busy with baseball practices, too.

They also hung around with Kate—a nice girl who was talkative and full of laughter, Tanya—a beautiful girl, Kate's sister, who enjoyed the shopping trips with Alice (who brought her into the group), and then Mike, Angela, Tyler, and even Jessica every once in awhile. Of course the latter four were only at school and every once in awhile on weekends, while the first two girls were quite close to them. They had a large network of friends now.

In the summer and previous to it, it had only been Rosalie, Jasper and I. Alice's intrusion into our lifestyle and her relationship with Jasper had brought in new friends, and new opportunities to meet other students. It opened him up more. Rosalie had always been social, and she knew practically everyone at school; but Alice gave her the chance to meet girls that she would actually get along with, and connected them so that Rose's stubborn and disdainful personality could be reached. She loosened her up.

I yearned to be part of it all, even though I was quiet and didn't like being in the center of things at all. I just missed my friends so much and I was jealous of the happiness that Alice brought to them, when I had only removed myself in a single mistake from their lives.

It was depressing to compare my life to Rosalie's, when I had James at my side and she had a group of loving people surrounding her. But I couldn't help feeling happy whenever she told me of the silly things they did.

The days dragged on, and when Friday came around James didn't drive me home as per usual, but drove the both of us to Victoria's apartment. As far as I knew she lived alone, and therefore more parties were held at her place than anyone else's. The group was all accounted for: Aro, Marcus, Laurent, Victoria, and some girls whose names I didn't bother learning that were leaning and draping themselves over the three men. Victoria had her eyes on James from the second he walked in, and glared at me as a hello. I was tired and sat down heavily beside James on the dirty couch, barely listening to the harsh topics of conversation that surrounded me.

Not much happened of interest; an hour into the hang out I was growing frustrated, wanting to leave yet knowing that I couldn't until James wanted me to.

We had driven my car today, an old red truck that still ran smoothly thanks to Rose's intervention. He groaned about my car, telling me I should have let my parents by a nice and shiny one; but I refused them, and ignored his insults; I loved my car.

I fingered the keys in my pocket. I tapped by foot impatiently as I sat, staring at the wall and successfully tuning out their loud obnoxious laughs as a bottle of tequila was passed around.

James stood up, responding to some female's voice that had said something to him. I glanced up to see him following Victoria, who had a sick smirk on her face, to the hallway that led to her bedroom. They closed the doors. Laurent snickered.

I stared at the hallway, my mouth open. Sure, I knew he was a cheater; but to do it in front of my face? With me in the next room?

My face burned with embarrassment. Aro was staring at me with a curious glance, and I felt acutely uncomfortable and intensely ashamed for even sitting there while James frolicked with some girl in the other room. I didn't care about him much; only enough to feel my heart breaking a little more when he blatantly betrayed me in front of company.

I stood up, fed up to the ceiling with him and desperate to leave. Without a word I pulled the keys from my pocket and left the building, ignoring the stares I received from his friends and their girls.

I cried on the drive home, sad and angry at the whole situation. I pulled into my driveway sooner than I expected and dashed inside; locking the door though I knew it was useless. I opened the blinds, not expecting James to come anytime that night, and not wanting Rose to worry unnecessarily.

I cried to myself as I sat on the couch, staring at a book that I had in my lap and trying to make myself read. They were angry tears now, as I had quickly gotten over his rejection. Now the humiliation stung me, and I loathed him for putting me in this horrible situation, and for asking me out on a date all those months ago.

I didn't realize I had fallen asleep until the door slamming woke me up. I glanced up quickly, and recognized James's figure hovering over me in the dark. Groggily I sat up, only to be pulled roughly to my feet.

"What—" I began to say, trying to resist his grip and failing miserably.

"Bella," James snarled, "why did you leave earlier? I didn't want you to go!"

I glared at him as he pulled me down the hall. "You went off and had sex with Victoria, James!" I snapped. "You wanted me to stick around for the embarrassment?"

He turned back to hit me. I stumbled, stars in my vision; there was alcohol on his breath.

He didn't say anything, obviously too angry to even cuss me out and too drunk to try. He continued roughly dragging me down the hall; I grasped at the frame of an open door –one the led to the laundry room—and hooked my foot around the corner of it. I didn't want to go with him, I wasn't sure how drunk he was and how stupid he'd act. Or how mean he would be.

He growled, yanking my arm forcefully so that my ankle snapped. I screamed in pain as I felt something pull the _wrong_ way. James paused, dropping my arm so that I collapsed to the floor and standing over me. His face was contemplative and he stared at my ankle; I was sure it was sprained, if not broken.

After a long moment he swiftly lifted his foot and brought it down, hard, on my leg. I screamed again; surely the neighbors would hear? I wondered what time it was, and if Rosalie was close to her nightly drive by. My muscle ached and throbbed, and I lost feeling completely from my right knee down. James chuckled, and I sobbed miserably as he pulled my arm down the hall again. He arrived at the door he wanted, and opened it swiftly, dragging my limp body across the carpet, which burned me, and into the room.

He shut the door.

I looked up, surprised to find myself in the guest bedroom. He hadn't taken me upstairs to my room, even. I stared at him, confused. Then, I gasped.

His face was the definition of evil, his eyes dark and menacing as he stared down at me. He lips were twisted into a sick grin, and he towered over me. I gulped, gasping to get air to my lungs since the adrenaline from the pain was taking it all away.

He bent down beside me, trailing his hand down my cheek and neck to my shoulder. He pushed the sleeve off and fingered my bra strap. I started to cry, and shook my head.

"Bella," he crooned in a low voice, "don't be afraid. I promise I won't hurt you so bad… if you just let me," he told me. His voice was frightening and made me shake.

I continued shaking my head, and he slapped me, simultaneously kneeing me in the stomach. I gasped, collapsing into the carpet. I was unable to move, stunned.

I peeked up at him, seeing him remove his shirt in one swift move. Hyperventilating, I glanced at the clock that glowed from the nightstand on the side of the queen sized bed. It read 9:37.

Rose wouldn't come until around 10:30. She wouldn't do anything until around 11:00.

I sobbed again, unable to help it. James lifted me up, and when I stood up straight I tried to run around him. He growled again, snatching my hair and whipping me back. I fell to the floor once more, and he quickly kicked my side, bruising or cracking a rib or two. I was struggling for breath.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," he admonished. "When will you learn to just give in?"

He bent down over me, ripping the buttons on my blouse so that I was exposed and smiling at me. "It isn't hard, I promise. It's not even scary, and it won't hurt… much," he laughed. "Bella, this is what you get for saying no. I'm going to have to make you, and it won't be as much fun," he pouted. "For you," he added thoughtfully.

I groaned my side hurting and my leg still numb. I might be able to escape if I could just….

But he damaged any more attempts, and thwarted any plans when he brought his foot down on my left leg, popping my knee out of my socket. I screamed, louder than I had before, and then whimpered, tears streaming down my face.

He pulled me up and threw me onto the bed; I tried to push him off as he fell onto me, but he grabbed my hands and twisted them painfully, chuckling as I screamed, until I stopped fighting. He kissed me on my neck, biting me and pulling my hair.

The pain was too much to bear, my arms sore and weak, both of my legs completely crippled and useless, my head dizzy, and my lungs gasping for air from the blows. I couldn't move, nonetheless fight. James pulled his own clothes off, down to his boxer shorts, and then continued necking me.

There was no relief from the pain.

There was no hope for a savior.

James moved on from my neck, working down past my breasts and to my belly button.

I wished I had never said yes to him 6 months ago.

I wished my parents were here.

I wished Rosalie would save me.

He fingered the button on my pants and I whimpered, crying out again.

He hit me, and my vision swam dizzily as he undid my pants and pulled them down.

I wished I could black out.

But unfortunately, I was awake for the whole thing.

* * *

**:( I hate that man. And i wish that he didn't do that. i was contemplating her escaping again, but... my storyline has a different opinion. **

**Please review!!!**

**I promise that there's a new beginning just around the corner :) And Edward will probably show up in the next two chapters or so. :) woot!!**

**And again.... ReViEw!!! (i'll give you a chocoloate covered strawberry!)**


	6. Hide and Seek

**OKayyyyy, this chapter covers a bunch :) i hope it's moving along quickly enough, but not tooo fast paced. **

**We get some Rose, Alice (not enough, i love that girl) and Jasper (again, not enough!) in this chapter!**

**Enjoy, and remember to review! :)**

* * *

**Rosalie POV**

I was nervous and antsy, and I blamed Alice for it. Before school on Friday she just had to mention that feeling. The feeling that made _her_ nervous and antsy, and had her thinking something was going to go wrong.

I brushed it off, not thinking twice about it –after all, it's Alice; yes she has that shrewd ability to predict things, but she also gets too worked up. But then I saw Bella in the hallway, walking next to that sick jerk she dates because she has to, staring at the ground.

I noticed her stare, and then I noticed his. He was looking at her like she was a piece of meat, some _object_ to enjoy.

It made me nauseous, and I grew anxious over the premonition of Alice's. Of course she knew nothing about what really happened at Bella's, but that doesn't mean she couldn't feel something wrong…

I couldn't shake the feeling throughout the whole day. I drove by Bella's directly after school but no one was there. James's small car was parked in the driveway, but they probably just drove her truck to school –I'd seen it in the parking lot. Then I even drove by James's house to make sure he hadn't taken her there, however no one was there either.

In an attempt to make myself relax, I texted her, asking if everything was alright. Either she didn't get it, or she wasn't able to reply. Either way her lack of response had me pacing my room.

I felt stupid for giving in to her; but I always had a weak spot for Bella's pleas. Sure, it was the dumbest request of her life, asking me to not phone the police, but what could I do? She was, in her own way, dealing with the abuse. She'd dealt with it for months before she told me. She asked me not to tell, and silly enough, I agreed.

Now, I wasn't so sure; I couldn't get hold of her, and it made me a wreck; even Jasper noticed something was wrong.

My reply was for him to ask his girlfriend, as it was her fault. He rolled his eyes and walked away.

Yes, I was aware I was snapping. No, I didn't care.

I drove by her house again around seven, just to make sure she hadn't come home. To my relief, her car was parked in front of her house. I drove home, not bothering to check for James because the blinds were open and his car was gone. I phoned her cell phone again but she didn't answer. It was probably turned off or something simple like that, so I didn't worry too much about it. Bella _would_ lose it.

Until I thought, 'What if James took it?'

Well, why would he do that?

Who knew? Honestly that sick man was so random, you could never keep up.

However that one little question in my head kept me from doing anything but pace for a few hours as I tried to call her a couple more times.

It was nearing 10 PM when I decided I could make the drive by earlier than usual. I sped through the cold, wet town until I arrived in her neighborhood and on her street.

The house was silent, the lights turned off and the blinds open. She must've been asleep, or at least I assumed. I knew the poor girl needed it (she looked tragic), so I drove away, not daring to wake her up to check anything.

I couldn't rid that knot in my stomach that warned me of something wrong happening. But James's car wasn't there, only her truck, and the blinds were open.

I knew that there was the chance something could happen with the living room's blinds open. Those were the ones I always looked at and Bella always shut to signify he was over. Even as we planned that little sign of safety, we knew that it wasn't fool proof. What if he came while she was in her room, without her knowing? Or she never had a chance to shut them?

But, his car wasn't there…

I delayed driving home only a few streets West of Bella's house, parking my car on the side of my street and putting my head in my hands. My hair swung forward, curled and nice as always, to hide the tears on my face. I sat there for minutes, contemplating.

Why couldn't I help her more? I absolutely hated that she went through this. And I hated myself for not realizing it sooner. Maybe I could've helped her if I hadn't been so classically stubborn when she stopped talking to me.

I glanced at the clock on the dashboard of my red convertible –a gift for my seventeenth birthday from my parents. The time read 10:38 PM.

I glared out the window at the rain, wondering what to do now. I was too jumpy and nervous to sleep; besides I wasn't remotely tired. I had just driven by and I didn't know if James ever came over this late… I should just go home and stop wasting gas.

Surely, one more time couldn't hurt?

I pulled onto the street, winding through the neighborhood and to her house. It sat there just as it had before, silent and dark. I stared at the windows, wondering…

All of the lights were off of course, but maybe I'd be able to see something inside? I shut off the car, looking at the clock once more. 10:47 PM.

I jumped out of the car, feeling the wet drops that fell in a drizzle soak my skin and not caring as much as I usually would have. I crept to the front door, putting my ear against it before realizing I wouldn't hear a thing with the rain pounding on the porch.

I looked around me until I saw a small path of brick that lined the wet grass and led to the front window. Carefully, I stepped onto it and snuck to the dark pane of glass. I leaned forward and peered inside, narrowing my eyes in an attempt to see better, and covering my face with my hands.

There was no one in there. The couch was empty.

I sighed. I wouldn't be able to see through Bella's window as it was on the first story. There were other windows I could check, but I didn't know what rooms they led to.

I walked back to the front door through the down pour. Absentmindedly, I grasped the handle and was surprised when it turned easily and the door swung open.

I stepped inside as my eyes adjusted to the dark. It was silent. I shut the door softly, thinking I could go check on Bella in her bedroom, to make sure she was safe and sleeping.

The stairs creaked and I grimaced at the sound in the silent house. The rain and wind were the only things that sounded.

It was creepy.

Bella wasn't in her room. It grew more worried, but I wondered if she was just somewhere else in the house…

Trying to block the images of her lying somewhere in a locked room, I flipped on a hall light, checking in the guest room upstairs, and the bathroom.

I felt silly saying it to the silence, but I called out, "Bella? Are you here?" My voice echoed around me.

"Bells? Honey, are you anywhere in here?" I walked down the stairs, turning on the kitchen lights, searching the various rooms in the hallway. The doors were all open, but no one was in them.

Then I arrived at the last door, uncharacteristically shut. My stomach clenched.

"B?" I called out again. I opened the door and flipped on the light.

I gasped, spotting her right away. Bella lay on the bed, her eyes barely open and her body completely bare. I could see she had tried to pull a sheet over her as she trembled. The bruises, splattered across her in blues and purples, limited her movement.

"Bella?" I all but screamed, running to her and crying. "Bella, are you awake? Oh please, B," I cried, "wake up." She seemed to be looking at me, yet barely conscious as I held her face in my hands.

I patted her cheeks, softly, so she could feel me; I took one of her cold hands in mine. She murmured something inaudibly, and a tear slid down her cheek.

Tears streamed down my own cheeks as I babbled, "Bella, it's okay, I'm here, I'll get some help, and we'll help you. Okay?"

"Rose," I heard her mumble. "Don't," she groaned.

"Bella, I'm calling them, don't give me any trouble!" I snapped, still sobbing and holding her hand. I pulled the covers over her shivering body and grabbed my cell phone from my back pocket. I dialed 911 mechanically.

As the agent asked my emergency and I hastily explained in a shaky voice, I couldn't help noticing Bella was fluttering her eyes more. "Bells don't fall asleep," I told her, squeezing her hand. "Please, don't."

Everything blurred. I grabbed her clothes from the floor pushing them onto her so she'd feel more comfortable and warm, and then the police and ambulance arrived. The flashing lights seemed ominous to me, and I could no longer hear the falling rain though it continued pouring outside.

I didn't understand half of what was happening; I only cried and held her hands as everyone moved around us, hustling to load her into the ambulance, asking questions all along which I didn't know how to answer.

She didn't look afraid, like Bella always was –she had a fear of hospitals, and of course hated attention.

Truthfully she looked numb.

After we arrived at the hospital, they pushed me to a waiting room and rushed Bella into a trauma room to check her over. I sat on one of the chairs, confused as to what I should be doing, until a nurse came up to me.

"What's your name, Hon?" she asked, though she didn't sound like she was trying to comfort me.

"Rosalie," I told in a low voice, my eyes trained on the door of Bella's room.

"Rose, we need Bella's information. Do you have her parent's numbers, by chance?"

"It's Rosalie," I snapped at her, glaring. She stared back, looking tired. I sighed. "No, I don't have them, but my mom might…" I trailed off, whipping out my cell phone.

Who could I call? Bella didn't want them to know about the abuse, but wasn't it a little late for that? I bit my lip, staring between Alice and Jasper's numbers on my phone log, finally deciding to call Alice first.

I rang her, and surprisingly she picked up on the first ring.

"Rose," she said. "What's up?" Her words were rushed, as if she knew something was wrong.

"Alice," I whispered, my voice shaking again as I thought about everything that had happened in the past hour. "Bella's in trouble; I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, and I ran by her house a few times before I finally just decided to go in and…" I sobbed. "Alice, he… James hurt her; he r-raped her." I cried more, and my voice came out distorted. "What do I do, Al?"

"Rosalie," her would-be calm voice called me to attention; she sounded like her throat was tight as she answered, "have you called the police? Where are you?"

"Yes, I did; we're at the hospital, she's in the trauma room… She was bruised and hurt _everywhere_…"

"Okay, we'll meet you there," Alice promised.

"We?"

"I couldn't sleep, so I called Jasper over," she said. I could tell she was moving, probably pulling Jasper forcibly (she had too much strength for her body mass, that girl) out to her car.

"Okay," I whispered, then thought of something. "Alice could you bring your dad? I don't know if he even deals with this stuff, but I'm sure she'd feel more comfortable with him than anyone else, even if she doesn't know him…" I trailed off, unsure. Dr. Cullen was great; I trusted him to take care of her, and talk to us.

"Of course; I'll see you soon, Rose. And don't worry," she added, "It'll be okay. She'll be okay."

I nodded, not sure I believed her. Physically I'm sure she'd be fine after a few weeks, but mentally and emotionally… A few more tears slid down my pale cheeks as I thought about her damage.

The police wanted a statement from me, and I didn't feel bad about telling them everything I knew. Sometime after that my brother and his girlfriend, along with Dr. Carlisle Cullen, arrived.

Dr. Cullen went into the trauma room immediately, while Alice and Jasper, both looking very pale and scared, rushed over to me.

"What happened?" Jasper snapped.

I sobbed as I told them everything I knew, including the hints I received from Bella at school and the time I picked her up and brought her home.

Alice looked sad, yet Jasper looked furious. "You knew this whole time?" he practically shouted at me, pointing an accusing finger. "Why didn't you say anything Rosalie?"

"She asked me not to!" I yelled in frustration. "What was I supposed to do?"

"You were supposed to ignore her, and tell the police, or us! She could've been killed!" he said loudly back.

"Why do you care?" I snapped. "You haven't even spoken to her since she chewed you out months ago!"

He glared. "What about you?" he asked in dark tone. "What have you done for her for months?"

"Guys, knock it off," Alice said sternly, focusing on the door of Bella's room.

I stared at her, then at the door too. The doctors and nurses had exited besides Dr. Cullen and that one mean nurse who called me Rose.

I moaned, shaking my head and calming down suddenly. "Oh gosh, if I had just told someone…"

Jasper rolled his eyes, stalking off to pace the other side of the room, nearer to Bella's door.

"Rosalie," Alice came over to me, "it isn't your fault." She looked firmly at me. "Bella wanted to handle this, and of course she tried, but… Some things are out of your control—"

"I could've told the police, Alice," I snapped lightly. "This was in my control!"

"She didn't answer her phone," she soothed, unruffled by my tone. Her voice took on a sad note. "You couldn't have known he was…"

"I drove by, I should've checked!" I cried. I walked away from her non comforting words, towards Bella's room and peered in the window. Dr. Cullen saw me and quickly shut the folder he was looking at.

He came out, closing the door softly behind him. I saw that Bella was asleep, and an IV in her arm.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked, dreading the answer.

His eyes held sadness. "Your friend will be okay, but… she'll probably have to stay in for a few days…"

"Why? What's wrong with her?" Jasper asked from behind me; I hadn't heard him come up.

"Isabella is extremely malnourished and weak. She'll need time to heal but she won't have any lasting injuries. Not physical anyway," he amended and I noticed his eyes seemed to grow darker. I sighed.

"Can I go in?"

He ignored that, taking on a brisk tone. "Where are her parents?" he asked. "Were they at the house, or…?"

"Charlie and Renee go on vacation a lot. As far as I know they'll be out of the country for a few weeks…"

"She lives alone, then?"

I nodded. "Mostly; they live in Seattle but she wanted to stay here to finish school."

"Do you have a number they can be reached at?"

I grimaced. "Bella won't like that," I said firmly. I felt the need to defend her now more than ever; especially since her secret was now exposed.

"They're her parents," he murmured, regarding me closely. "Rose, if you have their number…"

"She's eighteen," I told him. "If she wants them to know, she'll tell them. Bella didn't want _anyone_ to know."

He nodded. "Okay. Did the police catch the culprit?" he wondered, staring behind me at something.

I scoffed. "It wasn't that hard, I'm sure they have him."

"Was he there?" Dr. Cullen asked, his tone a little shocked.

I shook my head. "No, no. I just… know who it is," I muttered, suddenly ashamed that I had known for so long and hadn't done anything. "It was her boyfriend, James Hunt. I told them that when they arrived at the house, I think they have him now…"

Dr. Cullen nodded his face sympathetic. He put his hand on my shoulder. "Rose, you did well calling them when you found her; you handled the situation."

I couldn't help replying, "Yes, but if I had called sooner…"

"She asked you not to?" he asked, somehow knowing already. I nodded. "Then you did as your friend asked," he said simply. "Even if the request was… not too smart, I'm sure Bella had her reasons," he said, shrugging sadly.

Another tear slipped down my cheek, and Alice grabbed my hand from my left. I looked at her and saw that she was crying too. "Can I go in?" I asked again.

He nodded, and I pulled Alice in with me. Jasper was about to walk in when Dr. Cullen grabbed him by the shoulder, speaking with him in a low voice. The door shut behind us.

**BELLA POV**

I didn't understand exactly what happened after I passed out that last time. I recalled Rose's voice, and hands pulling me with gentle strength into a space with flashing lights. I was aware _he_ was gone, and remembered being relieved. I knew that I was going somewhere else, but my mind wasn't working well enough to understand where.

Everything hurt. I grasped that fact clearly. It was cold.

It all rushed around me until I woke up, daylight streaming in the slots of the closed blinds, in a white hospital room.

"Bella," Rosalie said from the corner. I looked up at her, afraid still.

"Rose?" I asked my voice so quiet I'm surprised she heard me. I noted the tube in my arm and shivered, becoming dizzy.

She came forward, smiling weakly. I saw that she was tired, dark circles under her eyes that contrasted with her pale face. Her mascara was smudged a bit and the clothes she wore were wrinkled. Rosalie sat on the small folding chair that was placed by my stiff white and green sheeted bed.

"You called?" I asked, knowing the obvious answer already.

She nodded.

I stared at her for a minute, trying to feel angry; but I couldn't. I should have let her some time ago. I was silly for thinking I could handle him…

An image of last night flashed suddenly in my mind; I flinched. She noticed and reached out a hand to pat my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," she whispered.

I swallowed the lump that was taking up space in my throat, trying to clear it sneakily. "Why?" I asked. "It wasn't your fault, I should have let you call them before," I mumbled.

She shook her head and I was surprised to see that she was crying. "No, B, I'm sorry for last night." She cried silently, her throat obviously tight, as she spilled everything that happened the previous day.

"Rosalie," I scolded. "Stop that. You couldn't have known… I didn't close them," I whispered, talking to myself now. I remembered wishing that Rosalie would come and save me, and hadn't even known that she was driving by at that time… But I hadn't apprehended that the blinds were open, so there wasn't a point in my hope.

Rosalie gave me an indescribable look and embraced me in a gentle hug. "What are we going to do, B?" she asked quietly.

I shrugged around her, and started sobbing quietly.

After a few minutes I was desperate for a distraction; crying brought more images into my mind, pictures that terrified me and had me shaking with anxiety. Rose sensed I was almost having a panic attack and gave me a worried look.

"Why do I have a needle in my arm?" I asked quickly.

Rosalie sighed and responded, "Because you haven't eaten properly in so long, B."

I nodded. "Um, who all knows? You called the police?"

"Yes; they want a statement from you as soon as you're feeling up to it. Bella, they have him in a jail cell."

I shuddered at the mention of him and looked away, not responding to her statement.

"Who else knows?" I asked.

"I called Alice and Jasper," she said.

"You what?" I almost snapped, whipping my head back to her.

"Bella," she said in a strict tone, "they're your friends too."

"No Rosalie," I said, "they aren't. I haven't spoken to him in months; he has her. And I never knew her. Besides, even if they were I wouldn't want them knowing."

It was silent for a few moments as I glared at her and she simply stared back. "They want to know how to contact your parents."

"I don't want to contact my parents."

"I know," Rosalie said.

I closed my eyelids which were growing heavy, but opened them again quickly to avoid the frightening recollections of the previous night.

"Will everyone know now?" I asked desperately.

She shrugged. "They might, but we won't confirm anything. You'll be okay," she said, clearly not caring what everyone else thought. I didn't share that opinion.

"I don't want to be in here," I mumbled. "But where will I go?" I asked myself out loud.

"We aren't letting you go home," Rose told me in a firm voice. "You can stay with us until someone else is at your house with you."

I didn't argue, well aware that I wouldn't win. She was as stubborn as I was, but I didn't have the heart to refute her. I didn't want to be home.

"It's for the best," she told me. I nodded.

It was silent again.

Then she said, "Jasper misses you, even though he's afraid to admit it because he has Alice with him now. I think she knows it, and that's part of why she likes you so much –because he does. But he's been a coward." She looked at me expectantly as if what she said would resolve my insecurities.

I didn't respond, but a few more tears crept out of the corners of my eyes.

The door opened and a Doctor came in, followed by Alice and Jasper. I looked away, blushing. I hesitantly wiped away a tear from my cheek. Rosalie patted my arm.

"How are you feeling, Bella?" the Doctor asked.

I shrugged, unable to speak.

He gave me a comforting smile that made me automatically more relaxed in his presence. "I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen," he introduced himself. "I'm Alice's father."

Oh. I nodded, processing that. I noticed that Jasper and Alice were both staring at me with sorrowful expressions; Rose had told them everything, I assumed.

How embarrassing. I blushed again, and looked down.

Dr. Cullen smiled again, but not in laughter or happiness at my condition; it was an understanding smile. "Would you three mind leaving so I could have a word with Bella?" he asked, looking at the twins and Alice. They filed out, Rose giving me a comforting smile.

After the door shut, he turned back to me. I blushed once more.

"Bella, how are you feeling?" Dr. Cullen asked again.

I hesitated, and then admitted in a small voice, "Scared. Am I… alright?" I asked in a squeaky voice, staring at the Doctor, trying to convey the real question: "Am I safe?"

He nodded, comprehending. "You've no reason to be afraid in here, Bella. We'll take care of you; the police have… James, is it?" I flinched and looked down quickly. "They have him," he continued, patting my arm softly. I withdrew my arm automatically, and then blushed at my instinctual behavior.

"I'm sorry Doctor Cullen," I whispered, unsure of what just happened.

"Its okay, Bella," he said calmly. I got the impression he was making more than one reference with that statement. "You're alright," he continued smoothly, answering my spoken question. "You won't have to stay here too long, just enough to get you back on your feet."

"Okay," I said.

"Bella," Carlisle Cullen said, and his voice was surprisingly unsure, "would you like to talk to someone about what happened last night?"

I shook my head. "No, I don't want to do that," I replied quickly in a shaky voice.

He nodded. "Okay," he replied easily. "I'll leave you to it, then. And call me Carlisle, Bella," he smiled, and then walked out.

I was alone.

I stared at the door, suddenly trembling again.

It all really happened. I was… defiled, and hurt, and beat. My quaking grew worse, and I tried to steady my breathing as I lay there, alone. I supposed I should be grateful to be alone. But it was comforting and frightening at the same time.

I contemplated what I'd tell the police, if I ever did speak with them… The very thought of reliving last night… I shook my head, letting out a gust of breath I hadn't been aware I was holding in. I didn't want to speak with anyone. I just wanted to be away from _him_.

The reflections of the horrific night were scaring me. The heart monitor stumbled a bit in its steady rhythm as my heart pounded in anxiety. I couldn't stop the feeling of fear coursing through me, or the feeling of brutality in my bruised skin.

I saw it all, clearly. I had blacked out a few times, yet I still remembered everything. James, forcing himself on me; James, hitting me when I cried; James, biting my neck as he grasped me and moved…

I almost screamed when the door opened.

Jasper walked in, his blond head surprisingly not scaring me. He didn't look at me until the door was shut safely between him and the hallway. When he saw that I was crying his face grew anxious.

"Bella," he said faintly. I cursed my heart for jumping the tiniest bit.

"Hey," I said weakly, wiping a few tears from my face, and staring into his blue eyes –warm, and so unlike the cold ones that had hurt me.

He came over to me, sat down on the chair Rosalie had occupied, and carefully put his hand on my arm. I knew I wouldn't be afraid of him before Jasper touched me; I relaxed in his presence, under his touch. I stared at his hand for a second, then at him once more.

"Bells are you okay?" he asked softly. My heart punched harder at the nickname the Hale twins had given me when I was younger. They had said my voice sounded like bells and it was almost my name anyways, so they started calling me that. It was back when we first met in junior high.

I shrugged, giving him a small, fake smile. No, I wasn't. I was miserable. I was lying in a hospital bed after being… I couldn't even think it. Besides that fact, Jasper was here after we hadn't spoken for over six months, which only reminded me of the cause of that distance.

But Jasper was my anchor, and he always had been. I had missed his presence for so long; I'd missed how he'd calm me after one of Rosalie and I's fights, and comforted me just by sitting with me outside in the wet grass when my parents were distant and absent. I missed him, and still yearned for his kindness.

He sighed, and squeezed my hand, making me feel better.

"Bella, why didn't you say something?" Jasper asked.

"You weren't speaking to me," I reminded him half heartedly.

Jasper looked away guiltily and I automatically felt bad for saying it.

"I was afraid," I told him, looking at the dim wall behind him. "I didn't want to be more hurt that I was, and have nowhere to go, and…"

"Isabella," he scolded, shaking his head at me, "I never really left you. Sure, I wasn't… speaking with you and we weren't like we used to be… But if you came to me I'd have listened."

I stared at him, unsure. Even with his calming and convincing presence, I remembered how he had Alice, how he still has her. He didn't need me whining to him.

As if he knew what I was feeling, he gave me a perceptive smile. Then, his peaceful face grew somber and serious.

"I missed you Bella," he told me. My heart fluttered a little, registering embarrassingly on the monitor. "You and I, we're a pair; we shouldn't be apart again," he said, staring straight into my dull, bruised eyes with his innocent blue ones.

Suddenly it was as if nothing in the last six months has happened. I was covered in scratches and contusions, aching all over and scared out of my wits of what happened to me, but… in that moment Jasper and I were sitting on a park bench, and he was making me fall more in love with him with every simple line he spoke.

It didn't last long, as he brought up the incident again. "Bella, why did you stay with him?" he wondered, his voice straining a bit. He glanced away from me, suddenly appearing frustrated and angry.

I blushed lightly, and mumbled, "I was stupid, I know…"

He turned his gaze back to me, and I could see him composing his emotions, or at least trying to. "Yes, you were; I guess that's just you… Bells don't do anything like this to scare me again, okay?" he said sternly.

I nodded, biting my lip. I never wanted to experience the horror again, and as I thought about it a further flash of fear ran through m; I started trembling. Jasper still held my arm, and noticed straightaway. More anger flashed in his eyes and he glared at my trembling fingers before calming it and holding my small cold hand with his warm one.

"Bella," my friend said. I stared at him, distressed. The panic was rising and the images suddenly torture. I gave a small sob. "B, I'm here. Shh," he soothed in a low voice. "I'm here, B."

I nodded, understanding, but unable to stop crying. Jasper climbed up next to me and held me. I was smaller than I used to be in his arms, even though he'd always been able to wrap them completely around me. Jasper's tall body, well built from the sports he played, managed to hold my small frame in the bed without either of us falling over or becoming uncomfortable. I was protected. I clung to him, breathing in his warm scent; when the shaking grew worse he held me tighter, and it didn't make me afraid in the slightest to have his arms around me. It felt like… some version of home.

* * *

**I'm such a Team Edward girl that it's hard to write the scenes with Jasper and Bella. Yes, she does legitimately have feelings for him. But no, it's nothing like being IN LOVE. She just doesn't realize that. Rest assured she WILL be with Edward. Gah, i miss him!! He'll come in soon, I PROMISE. (for real, cuz i know i've been saying that...)**

**Please review!! give me your thoughts, tell me yay/nay, anything!! **

**Loves!!**

**LoLfEdward**


	7. A Meeting and an Outing

**Disclaimer: (i swear i can never remember to do this, it seems so unnecessary) I don't own twilight or the characters!!! They're stephenie's!!**

* * *

I lay on the bed in the guest room, breathing and trying not to focus on anything in particular. A light sheen of sweat covered my forehead, which I had no will to wipe clean. It was either the nightmare that I had woken up from, or the fact that the Hale's air conditioning was turned off, I was covered in blankets and it was the seemingly hottest day of the year, that had me sweaty and exhausted. Either way I felt disgusting and distracted as I attempted to clear my mind so I could fall back asleep. A bright sun shone through the blinds, an early morning in early March greeting me cheerily, and detaining me from resting anymore.

Voices sounded from across the closed door. I glanced at the small alarm clock on the nightstand to my right, only just wondering what time it was. The clock read 8:09.

"When should we wake her up?" Rosalie's said in a low voice.

"Right now!" Alice said.

"Guys, chill," Jasper started saying before being cut off by his twin sister.

Her voice rang across the wood, "Don't tell us to chill! We're excited!"

I could practically see Alice nodding eagerly at her side as she pitched in. "Ya, babe! It's sunny, and we have things to do!"

"I'm only saying," he whispered loudly, "she's probably not up for anything."

"Well she can't hide in here forever," Rosalie said. Then in a quieter voice, which I had to strain to hear, she whispered, "This will be good for her."

A soft and quick knock sounded on the wooden door, and I sighed, sitting up. "Come in," I called.

The door knob rattled, then Jasper said, "Bella you locked the door again."

"Oh, right." I pulled myself from the warm sheets and stumbled across the messy room to switch it open for them. Alice bounded inside, smiling at me brilliantly. I smiled back hesitantly; I still didn't like her too much, her relationship with Jasper stopping me from letting myself.

Rosalie followed, looking me up and down and rolling her eyes with her own small grin to add. I consciously tried to flatten my hair and smooth my shirt. Then Jasper entered, giving me that calming grin and winking. I bit my lip through my answering smile.

"So, Bella," Alice began cheerily as she pulled the blinds open, "as you can see it's sunny," she gestured with a fancy wave of her hand. I blinked in the light and nodded.

"I can see that," I agreed.

She nodded approvingly. "Good. So we're going to go out," she waved her wrist again, "into the sun today!" She bounced a little, her small appearance making her look like a little girl, excited at the prospect of getting a shiny new toy.

I sighed, and glanced at Rose who had perched on the end of my guest bed, decorated with dark blue bedding and deep purple pillows. She saw my look and smiled. "It'll be cool, B. Besides you have to meet Edward since you didn't come with us to the movies last night."

"Who?"

"Alice's cousin," Jasper supplied from my right side. Butterflies suddenly danced in my stomach as I realized how close he was standing beside me.

"Oh," I said lamely. "Did you, um, have fun?" I looked directly at Rosalie.

Her answering smile told me more than her next words, "Sure did."

I laughed lightly. Rosalie had been raving about Alice's cousin who would be staying with the Cullen's for the rest of the year, for two long weeks.

"Well you have to come with us," Alice continued eagerly, bouncing slightly. "Please?"

I looked across my body at Jasper, who nodded with a sure smile. My thoughts turned to the conversation they'd had in the hall a few minutes previous. Rosalie was right; I couldn't stay in this house forever.

I wasn't hiding; but I hadn't been in the mood to deal with the world yet.

I didn't have forever, I realized. I might as well start now.

"Sure," I agreed. "I'll come out with you today."

Alice squealed and Rosalie cheered. Jasper, chuckling, gave me a tight hug then went to high five Alice.

Rose grabbed my hand and, before I could realize it, I was seated on a stool in her great bathroom down the hall. The walls were painted a soothing sage color, and I resigned myself to sitting on the salon stool she had placed in front of the mirror. She moved around, switching on curling irons and such and then turned to start on my face.

"Where are we going?" I asked with interest as she got to work on hiding the yellow and light purple bruises that still covered parts of me. It had been almost two weeks since the incident, and physically I'd be better in no time. The doctors had released me just two days after I was admitted.

I was hesitant; it took me awhile to feel comfortable in anyone's presence. A few trips to the market with Mrs. Hale (Claire, we all called her) and I still looked over my shoulder.

I knew I could warm up to people though; Carlisle Cullen was kind enough to make house visits every few days to check up on me. I was sure this wasn't standard behavior for most doctors, but his concern touched me and I found that I trusted him very much. It was hard not to. Every once in awhile he came with his wife, and Alice's mother, Esme. She was too kind and genuine not to trust either, and brought me food and desserts; she was worried about my weight, Carlisle told me, and suggested that I eat it.

Everything else around me was scary, and I was uncertain.

The Hale's drove me to the station where I waited for a few minutes (Jasper on my left and Rosalie on my left, holding my sweaty hands) before being led to the back in a small grey room.

The officer who questioned me was kind, a little too light for the circumstance, and very detail oriented.

I made it through all the beginning questions with a shaky voice, answering questions about James and our relationship for the previous six months, how we met, when he began to be violent, etc.

But when he asked me to recall the night in question I didn't answer.

I couldn't answer.

I froze, unable to react, to even blink. I found myself with tears in my eyes and trembling hands.

I ran away, like a coward. I managed to relate to them, through a stutter, that I couldn't do it, and left in a desperate run before they could detain me.

Rose was speaking, I realized. I brought myself back to the present with a little shake of my head.

"We're going to the Cullen's house, then probably out to lunch or something." She shrugged and handed me the foundation to apply, then started to work on my hair, curling the ends and spraying it with product that smelled like fruit.

"So," I prompted her as I smeared the liquid over my bruises, "what's the deal with Edwin?"

She laughed. "It's Edward. Goodness Bella, he's hott!" She giggled again. "Which is of course important in a relationship," she added, winking. "Plus he's a gentleman, and he's very very nice."

I nodded, smiling. "Did he seem interested?" I asked, unnecessarily I thought. Who wasn't interested in Rosalie?

She beamed brightly. "Yes, I think so. I couldn't get anything out of Alice though…" Rosalie frowned to herself. "It's weird because she's usually so eager to share." She shrugged again.

I nodded to myself, figuring Alice had her reasons. She always did, it seemed. In the few weeks since I'd come to the Hale's, I'd begun to understand her and know her more, even if I didn't want to.

It was silly of me, and immature, but I couldn't shake the resentment I held for the pixie girl since she was with Jasper Hale. Alice was kind and excitable and endearing in so many ways, but I couldn't let myself like her completely.

Just then, the girl herself entered. She danced in lightly, a habit that I found irksome and annoying –but that could be because I lacked the grace and poise she held. I wanted to hit myself for being so prejudice.

Alice held a pile of clothes and something on a hanger. "Bella," she smiled at me, "I have your outfit!"

She laid out a pair of dark, fitting jeans, with bold white threading on them and a white flow-y shirt with a simple bead design on the front. A dark blue tank top lay next to it.

I examined it with a silent sigh; I wished I could just bring the sweatshirt I took from Jasper –it was comfortable and smelled like him still which I secretly liked but would never admit to. Plus it covered the fingerprints that I still had around my wrists. But as I looked at the outfit Alice put together for me, I realized that it covered everything. From the look on Rose's face, and Alice's pout, I wouldn't get away with the sweatshirt.

"Thanks," I said airily, turning away from her to finish my cover up. Alice came over and started to put some eye makeup on. I let the girls have their fun dressing me up, and then went to the guest bedroom that was my new haven, to change.

When I was finished, we said a quick goodbye to Mrs. Hale and then piled into Alice's banana yellow Porsche.

The Cullen's house was hard to find to anyone who didn't live there. Even Jasper and Rosalie, who were frequent guests, had trouble finding it. Alice however sped at a breaking pace along the long wet road that led to it.

I gasped upon exiting the car; I had never come over, having no reason to really want to and turning down all of my friends' invitations, but now I wished I had. There was no excuse to miss on something this beautiful. The enormous white house looked more like a mansion. It was vast and unique, with an edge that made it modern and old-fashioned simultaneously. The front porch greeted you, as if welcoming you into the home and the windows winked in the sunlight.

I stared for a few long moments, enjoying the sight. Then I followed them in, Rosalie leading me along with a chuckle.

Esme greeted us with a soft smile, her caramel colored hair pulled up in a ponytail and her green eyes kind as always. She gave me a soft hug when I entered the foyer.

"Hello, dear Bella! How are you?" When Esme inquired about me she always meant it; I felt myself liking her more each time I was in her company. She was like a perfect mother, even though she looked entirely too young for the part. She had that aura around her, loving and comforting.

I smiled at her. "I'm good, thank you," I told her. She squeezed my hand and then ran off into the kitchen to the right, most likely finishing some delicious meal.

"Hello, Bella," Carlisle's voice came from the hallway next to the stairs, across from the great entrance room and to the left. He gave me his own comforting smile and walked swiftly to me, tightening his tie as he did. Esme walked in then with a plate of muffins for him to choose from. He smiled at her and she grinned back.

"Hi Carlisle," I greeted him, feeling a little awkward next to the happy couple. "Off to work?"

He nodded and turned back to me. "How are you feeling lately?" he asked, some of the tone he used as a Doctor leaking into his voice.

"Better," I replied shortly.

"Eating much?"

I nodded.

He smiled, and I thought I knew why Esme still looked at him like it was first love. The two were the sweetest couple I'd seen in a long while; _the perfect example of how marriage should be_, I thought, reflecting on my parents.

Esme retreated to the kitchen as Carlisle drove away, and I followed belatedly to the couch where my friends sat. Rosalie was talking to Alice about a sale going on at the mall, while Jasper lounged, playing with Alice's short and spiky hair.

I didn't sit down, figuring we'd be leaving in a few minutes anyways.

Alice and Rose finished their conversation as soon as I was beside them and Alice bounded up, running to the stairs.

She stood at the bottom and yelled up, "Edward!! Let's go!"

No one yelled back but Alice danced back over to us, satisfied in some way.

"He's like a girl, taking forever," she chuckled. Rosalie laughed.

Just then a boy with shiny red and brown hair and pale skin slid down the banister, making a showy entrance, with a smirk on his face. He smiled when he landed and stood up straight with a successful smile.

My mouth hung open embarrassingly as I examined him until I snapped it shut. He was walking away from the banister with a smile until he saw me, and paused to stare back with the brilliant pearly white smile fading slowly. Edward, I connected the old fashioned name with the handsome and gorgeous looking boy before me. He had light green eyes and dark pink lips, a straight nose and a crop of messy hair on his head. He wore a simple black tee shirt that was tight enough to leave little to my rapid imagination, and dark jeans.

Simple. Perfect.

I caught myself with a small shake of my head. I blinked rapidly and looked away from the tall boy before me, focusing on the other corner of the room.

Everyone else was perfectly at east; the whole of my embarrassment wasn't even caught by my friends as it had lasted a total of ten seconds.

Ten long, gorgeous seconds.

I silently chastised myself for admiring him so, as Rose, Alice and Jasper went forward to greet him (Alice hanging on his arm –they obviously had a connection more like a brother and sister—and yelling at him for taking forever). Rosalie liked Edward; and obviously the two were perfect for each other. Both pretty and perfect.

I watched them without hearing the conversation; Edward was smiling (again, with all the white pearls) at Alice, lifting her tiny body away from himself as he laughed. I caught the laugh though I didn't hear anything else; he had an interesting laugh, but not like those people who guffaw or hiccup in an interesting way. It was tantalizing and addicting. I wanted to hear it again.

Rosalie was laughing also I could see, her bright blue eyes focused on Edward.

But he wasn't looking back at her; not directly at least. He nodded at something she said, but his glance wasn't anything like what I imagined a boy who liked Rosalie who was also named Edward would glance at her like. He looked out of the corner of his eye, and gave a straight and sweet smile.

Maybe I was imagining things. Maybe he didn't show any affection or admiration in an obvious way. I'd known him for all of a minute, not even really knowing him—merely seeing him in person—and I was already judging and finding ways to decipher if he really liked her or not.

"Bella," Jasper called from right beside me. I looked at him with a start.

He looked concerned. "Are you alright?" he asked quietly so the others wouldn't hear.

I nodded with a rueful smile. "Yes, of course; just… thinking," I told him in a would-be sure voice.

He studied me, and then looked in the direction I had just turned from. His face grew calculative, and I almost panicked before I realized there was nothing for him to decipher from my stare in the direction of Alice's amazing looking cousin.

Because I didn't like Edward in any way that was more than a friendly acquaintance; I didn't even know him! I hadn't spoken a word to the guy. There was nothing to fear in my innocent gaze; I was innocently looking at Rosalie, Alice and Edward. That's all.

Before he could get any ideas, however, I said, "So, when are we leaving?"

He shrugged, and then called over to the girls who were both talking very fast towards Edward, though he didn't seem to be paying much attention. I blushed when I noticed he was staring directly at me.

"Hey guys, are we ready to go?" Jazz asked. Alice nodded, bouncing over to him and grabbing his hands with hers. She planted a quick peck on his lips, winked, and led him to the front door. I turned my body to follow their retreat; I stared at their hands, and their figures, jealousy once more ripping through me.

Sighing silently in my head, I forced myself to look away and my gaze then fell on Edward once more.

Either he was looking at me again, or he had never looked away. I blushed once more.

Rosalie laughed. "Bella," she said joyfully, "this is Edward, Alice's cousin." She turned to him with admiration in her eyes. "Edward, this is Bella Swan."

"Hello," he said, smiling slightly, with his eyebrow cocked with what looked like curiosity.

I blushed again, stupidly, and Rose laughed quietly. "Hey," I muttered back, hugging my arms around myself. Rosalie came to me and wrapped an arm around me shoulder as she led me to follow Jasper and Alice's retreat to the car in the vast front yard.

"Bella," she whispered to me, "isn't he cute?" I nodded with no smile, unable to make myself look at her; I was guilty from my traitor thoughts earlier. "Don't worry B," she said in a low voice, misinterpreting my silence, "he's a good guy; you can trust his company."

I looked at her and felt even guiltier. Rosalie was rude and brush half the time, but she cared about me and was my best friend. How could I even have thoughts about a guy she liked so much?

I gave her a small smile, simultaneously deciding that Edward would never mean anything to me as more than a friend while Rosalie still liked him. She meant too much to me.

Besides, it was all moot points wasn't it? I was nowhere near secure enough to consider a relationship with any boy, let alone someone I just met and didn't trust yet.

With that semi-cheerful thought, I joined Rosalie in the car, Edward following us silently.

If I could describe the outing in one word, it would be awkward.

At least on my part, that is. Despite my determination and silent promise that I wouldn't be involved with Edward anymore than I had to, I was somehow forced into the seat in the car next to him and partnered with Jasper and him when we teamed up for games at the park.

Besides these small facts, I felt him everywhere I went all throughout our day. Tingling, sparking sensations spread over my body, following whichever direction he was to me. It was uncomfortable, yet comforting. It was insane, yet sensible. It was frightening, yet I craved more.

He was already messing with my brain, I realized with a moan as I grabbed a bucket full of water from off the picnic table. Alice gave me a funny look and I smiled grimly.

We were at the park as it was so sunny (I didn't fail to notice that the sunshine made Edward's hair stand out fantastically), and contrary to my belief, were playing water games. We'd finished with baseball (thankfully with no water) of which I'd been appointed referee after tripping over the base I was supposed to be covering three times in a row. Jasper and Edward managed fine without me, so I didn't feel bad for refereeing.

Now we were having a water balloon war, complete with buckets of water and water guns. I was very against the whole water sport thing, insisting that since it was dry outside we should _stay_ dry; Alice and Jasper beat me down however, telling me it would be fun, and _when do we ever get to do this_?

I was on Jasper and Edward's team again. Jasper kept calling dibs on me; when I asked him why, he said it was because the girls weren't that great, and I was too clumsy to really help them out. I pouted until he let me dump some water on his head for forgiveness. Edward laughed loudly, and I once again became enchanted by the sound. My stomach filled with motion, flutters and pivots of movement. It was odd and enlightening and confusing as heck.

He needed to stop laughing if I was going to survive this game. Unfortunately he seemed to do that a lot—whether because I was clumsy as a rubix cube, or because that was just him.

As if I needed more embarrassment.

"Alright, on my mark!" Edward shouted from our side of the still wet playground. I was huddled behind a slide, and Jasper was crouched beside me with five balloons in his hands. "One, two, three, GO!" he shouted.

Water balloons sailed through the air from the other side where Rose and Alice had set up behind a park bench. Jasper and Edward worked speedily, pelting them with balloon after balloon. By the sounds of their shrieks they were getting hit.

Jasper, already wet from the bucket I'd thrown on him, darted out from our safety and ran after them, bellowing nonsense. The two girls scattered, screaming and laughing at the same time.

Edward chuckled and became hyperaware that he had moved directly behind me. Trying to ignore the feeling, I watched as Alice's little legs carried her behind a tree for safety.

"Come on, Bella," Edward whispered urgently with a light laugh. I blushed for some stupid reason, as he grabbed my hand and pulled me from behind the slide.

I was very aware that he said my name like red velvet cake.

"What—" I started to ask, then realized a second too late that Rosalie had ran around to us and was chasing us with a pail full of water, sloshing around as she ran.

I screamed lightly and started running, stumbling of course, but Edward still held my hand (tingles, tingles, tingles) as we ran so I didn't fall. Rosalie threw the water as she finally stopped, and it hit my back with a cold splash. I gasped and stopped running.

Edward smiled and chuckled as he saw what happened; then, as if he suddenly realized his hand still held mine, he dropped my hand and stepped away from me.

I was relieved. I didn't know what to make of the tingles and the shocks that ran over my hand when he touched it, and I didn't know what to think.

Was it danger? Could this be my body's way of letting me know Edward was dangerous? Was he anything akin to James? He looked innocent enough, but so had James.

I took a few steps away from him, unsure. My stomach clenched as I thought about it.

I had felt afraid and nervous every time I'd been in James's company for the last few months… But it wasn't what I was feeling around Edward, I decided. This was different.

What was this? Why the electricity and butterflies?

I moved, jogging back to the picnic table to grab more balloons, and to get away from him.

The game continued in this way for half an hour, until we were all soaked and the girls finally surrendered.

Alice shivered as we stood around the picnic table that held the empty supplies. "I can't believe you tripped over her," she laughed hysterically, pointing to Jasper. He rolled his eyes and Rosalie glared at him. She had sat on the ground, tired, and Jasper came running away from little Alice without looking where he was going. He tripped, falling over her and elbowing her in the side.

"Sorry," Jasper said, sounding quite unrepentant.

I chuckled, and swept a hand through my soaked hair. Alice had caught up to me and shot me straight on with a squirt gun. I was very wet.

Suddenly Rosalie gasped, and moved around the small table and towards me swiftly.

"Rose, what—" I started, but cut myself off as she grabbed my hand quickly and dragged me toward the car. I looked back at the table as we walked away, confused. Jasper was looking at me with some realization on his face and Edward was concerned about something. Alice's eyes were wide and she ran to follow us.

"Bella," Alice moaned as she caught up to us, "your cover up is fading. We can see bruising." Rosalie was grimacing at my face.

I paled. "What?" I asked, though I heard her perfectly well. _Why hadn't we thought of this_? Sure, my three friends new, but Edward didn't. It wasn't like I wanted to broadcast what happened to me, which they all knew without asking.

Why the freak did we choose water games?

The girls streamed apologies for not thinking of this as they applied foundation (handy in their purse) to my face and neck. I rolled my eyes, though I didn't feel nonchalant, only tense and antsy, and told them it was fine. We got away before Edward could question anything, right?

We returned a few minutes later and Rosalie brushed it off by saying she merely had something to tell Alice and I. The boys didn't push it; Jazz knew not to, anyhow.

It was mid afternoon when we returned home, wet and uncomfortable in our clothes.

Alice dropped us off at the Hales first. We piled out of her car and I rushed inside to shower, the nerves and tingles on my neck as I felt his stare. I glanced back as I reached the front door; Edward was giving Rosalie a hug goodbye –but I could see his gaze from the distance of 70 feet; Jasper was kissing Alice by the driver's side of the car. Rose skipped away, smiling happily and Jasper followed in. I turned back to walk inside, but not before noticing Edward was staring, still, at me.

* * *

**Edward came!! FINALLY! i missed him.... **

**yes or no to this chapter?? i feel like the beginning was weird -it was difficult to get out of my head. Any suggestions about the plot? Any weird crazy notions about the characters??**

**Soo...**

**I feel like a lame person, but is it so much to ask for a review? Is it honestly that hard to leave a few words? As an author, i don't want reviews so i can count them and cheer at how many i can get. I honestly just want to know what you're thinking.**

**So, please, let me know?? **

**Review. :)**

**LoLfEdward**


	8. Not Backing Out

**Sooo sorry about the long in between chapters, thing. I wasn't inspired. There's no bull crap excuses besides that. :D**

**Disclaimer: i wish i did, but i don't. so stop thinking i'm secretly Stephenie, cuz i'm not. :)**

**Enjoy the extra long chapter, filled with filler-ness. **

* * *

Sometimes, the last place you saw yourself was where you ended up going.

I didn't expect myself to end up in an abusive relationship for 6 long months. I didn't once ever see myself being raped. I didn't ever imagine I could one day be facing a wanted poster for my ex-boyfriend.

But that's where I stood, in the middle of Main Street in the tiny town of Forks, facing a wanted poster.

I blamed myself, because really it was my fault. I didn't want to testify against James, because I was too afraid of looking at him and _remembering_… so they had to let him go. There were plenty of people (his stupid friends of course) who could claim they saw him anywhere but my house that night. There was only one of me. And I was a wimp.

Then the judge told him to stay in town for awhile, something about good behavior, or they'd arrest him for something small that he could usually get away with in a small town like ours. The sum of my small statement at the police station (before I had bolted) decided that he could be charged for domestic violence, but I still needed to testify on a stand for anything to happen. But they did put him on probation, with determination of further charges for good behavior, and obedience. (I found this entire situation out from Rose and Jasper's father, who, as a lawyer, had connections just about everywhere.)

James of course didn't listen. Only a few weeks after his temporary probation had been set, he ditched town.

Hence, the small 8x10 wanted sign on the front window of Fork's Police Station.

Alice and Rose stood behind me, silent and tense. Their anxiety came off of them in waves, and after staring at the stupid piece of paper for over two minutes I was finally able to keep walking, away from the insanity of the whole situation.

The girls caught up with me in about three seconds, and held onto each of my arms tightly.

"Bells—" Rose started, but I cut her off by stopping my slight jog.

"No, guys, don't." I sighed and looked at the wet pavement before returning my gaze to meet theirs, steadily. "I'm glad he's not here anymore," I told them. "It's less for me to worry about, really."

Rose gave me a look, completely not believing me, but I ignored her, shook off their grips, and continued to the small outlet store we'd been working towards. They followed like I figured they would.

After a few cautious minutes of silence and awkward unsaid feelings, Alice was almost back to her perky shop-aholic self, and Rose was smiling and pointing out cute items of clothing. It was the end of February now, and the Spring Fling Social was coming up at Forks High. Alice and Rose had "ins" in the Forks High Student Council, who told them the dance was a total dud. For that reason, the girls decided that they should throw an "Anti-Fling Social" at the Cullen's house the same weekend, and see who would all show up. They were confident in the turn out since the two of them, not to mention Jasper, were all pretty well known, plus everyone was dying to see the Cullen household. One of the prominent rumors that were circulating, excluding all of the ones about James and I, were about the Cullen family. Though Alice had been in town for over 9 months no one besides the Hales and I had seen it.

It did help that Edward had arrived, and therefore interest in anything that had "Cullen" attached to it had reached a peak.

Edward Cullen, gorgeous as ever, hadn't spoken much to me since our first meeting. We'd passed light greetings and conversations as he was coming over more, or when the group passed through the Hale home in between hang outs. Granted only about a week and a half had passed since the day at the park, and I'd worked hard to get myself out of the group's events. From what I heard, his first day at Forks High had been a spontaneous occasion of giggles and stares from the female population.

Rose, still confident in her hold over the new boy with bronze hair, laughed about it as we browsed some casual party dresses. "And then Edward walks to his seat," she giggled, "and everyone, in _unison_, turns to stare. It was one of the best sights I'd ever seen!"

I chuckled lightly. "I'm sure he has everyone wrapped around his finger." I knew too well the reaction that came with Edward Cullen.

Alice rolled her eyes as she examined a dark green tank top carefully. "That's so him. The best part is he's oblivious to half of it."

"How can he be?" Rose asked curiously.

"He's willful. Determined to ignore them. I think the attention annoys him mostly."

Rose laughed again. "Oh, Bella, we need to get you a cheerful-I'm-perfectly-fine-back-to-school-outfit while we're here!"

"I don't need one, you two keep randomly buying me more clothes than I could ever wear in my lifetime," I pointed out, smirking.

"Come on!" Alice whined. "It's fun to pick one out for a special purpose!"

"And that purpose would be…?"

"Looking smoking hott and beautiful, and totally and completely fine," she stated with a shrug. "Just like Rosalie said."

I rolled my eyes but didn't object them anymore, so they smiled happily and danced through the store, finding silly and beautiful and expensive items to try on.

I wandered behind the girls aimlessly, less enthused to try anything on than half of one of them. At some point I ended up sitting on a small and comfy couch in a department store, looking at an interesting pair of blue shoes while Alice examined some purple heels.

Alice kept looking at me, then glancing away when I looked up. She bit her lip, and finally said in a quiet voice (totally unusual for her), "Bella, can I talk to you about something?"

I raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Uh, sure Alice." I looked around for Rosalie, but she was in a dressing room trying on a tall pile of blouses she'd selected.

"It's about James," she said apologetically. I stayed silent and she continued. "I think you should testify against him, Bella."

"He left town," I told her obviously.

She nodded and said, "I know, but he doesn't need to be here for you to testify. And maybe it's better that way," she added, "if you, you know, are scared or anything—"

"Alice," I cut her off a little shortly, "it's really none of your business." She stared at me for a moment and I instantly felt awful for snapping at her. I looked away, at a pair of orange pumps on the display table next to me.

After about a minute, wherein Alice didn't seem to move at all, she spoke again. "Bella, I know what you're feeling."

"How could you _possibly_—" I began, but she cut me short.

"You don't know me that well, Bella," she said simply. I stared at her, trying to decipher that sad and guilty look in her eyes but before I could come to any spontaneous conclusions Rose walked up.

"I picked out this top," she told us, and held up a slightly shimmery red shirt with a collar and buttons, and a black belt around the waist.

Alice nodded happily, and danced over to examine it. "What's it for?"

Rosalie smiled. "Oh, nothing. Just looking nice, because I can."

I half smiled. "For Edward, then?" I asked, almost unwilling to hear the answer.

She laughed. "Yeah."

We followed her to the checkout with our load of clothes, and determined we'd go to another shop a few blocks down that might have some potential dresses for the Anti-Fling party.

"So," Alice began as the cashier rung up her pile of clothing, "how is that going? With Edward?" Alice asked in a would-be casual and cheerful voice. Rosalie didn't seem to notice the difference though, as she launched into her thoughts about the subject. Or rather, the boy.

"He's such a gentleman, which is completely okay but you know I want him to do something. Like ask me out, or something. Is he usually this shy?" she asked Alice. However she continued on without waiting for an answer. "Anyway, we're still at stage one. No moves have been made," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Since when do you wait for the guy to make a move?" I asked her.

She laughed. "Since never. I was just waiting to see if he would." I nodded, and looked away to hide my amusement. In my opinion, which I'd never give because it would make her angry, Rosalie was just bored with the small town boys, and saw opportunity in dating Edward. But Edward wasn't her type, at all. He was tall and had muscle, but Rosalie usually wants those big, beefy guys on the football team. On top of the physicality, Rosalie enjoys it when guys stare at her obviously, and compliment her often about her appearance. She likes to be seen. Edward, from what I'd noticed and been told, doesn't compliment her, or doesn't notice those things. Also, Rose is always looking for a very forward guy, someone who says what he thinks and gives his opinion, almost involuntarily. She, for whatever reason, liked the obvious. Edward didn't seem like the loud, outspoken type.

But I kept this to myself. I was sure Alice saw it too, and though she hadn't known Rose for as long as I had (or compiled a "perfect guy" list with her in ninth grade), I could tell she knew Edward wasn't her type.

One hour later we had three dresses, one for each of us for the Anti-Fling party; plus we got a new outfit for me, which I was able to sneakily pay for.

Rosalie's dress was deep purple, with large silver jewels under the bust and no sleeves. She purchased silver strappy heels to match. Alice was delighted with her find –a light pink dress that flared at the waist and flowed all around her, with short sleeves and a square neckline. It was the only one left and was exactly her size.

They both picked my dress. Alice was obsessed with dressing me in blue tones, and Rosalie found one that was a dark navy blue. It was light, and comfortable, which is what I preferred for anything I wore. The dress had a sweetheart neckline and gathered to my right side, then draping down to my knees. I liked it a lot.

Alice dropped Rosalie and me off at the Hale home, and we made dinner for ourselves and Jasper since their parents were in Seattle for the night. I retired early to go to bed, since I hadn't been sleeping well.

I had nightmares every night, and would wake up with my heart pounding deafeningly in my chest, a seizing fear in my muscles, and sweat covering my body. Every night, I was back at my house, James hitting me, grabbing me, kissing me violently, and raping me. James on top of me, James throwing me, James clawing me, and James shaking me.

I couldn't help them, and I was too embarrassed to speak to Carlisle about them. So they continued, and I woke up nightly.

The next day I was woken up _early_ by Rosalie and to my surprise Alice, too.

"What on earth are you doing here at 5 A.M?" I all but shrieked.

"Getting you ready for school, of course," Alice chirped. My head throbbed. Her high voice was too much when it was still dark outside. I peered out the window as I stood out of bed; it was raining. No surprise there.

Alice apparently had a knack for predicting the weather, and told me so as she dressed me in dark jeans and a simple light pink sweater shirt. I secretly thought she was a little crazy. How hard is it to predict rain in Forks?

By seven o'clock everyone was dressed and ready for school, and my nerves were just beginning to show. I sat at the kitchen counter, eyes down and unconsciously biting my bottom lip. The chair moved out from beside me, and I looked up into Jasper's light blue eyes. He gave me a tiny smile, then sat next to me, putting his hand lightly on my arm.

"It's okay to be nervous Bella," he told me seriously. "But no one's going to mess with you today, alright?"

I held his gaze, and nodded, smiling a tiny bit. "Thank you, Jazz. But honestly there's no way to predict what will happen—"

He nodded and said, "I know that, I'm just saying Laurent and his friends won't come near you. I'll beat them off," he said simply.

I laughed lightly, surprising myself by doing so. I didn't laugh often. Jasper smiled at me again, and winked.

I stopped laughing as I continued to stare at him. My heart seemed to sigh, and I stared at his face, knowing he'd never like me back. Not in the way I liked him.

"What else has you nervous?" he asked suddenly. I blinked and took a deep breath.

"It's just…" I trailed off, and looked away from him. "All of the rumors; I feel like everyone knows. And I haven't been at school to hear about them, this is only what I've picked up from you guys, and in town!"

Jasper sighed, and held my shoulder carefully. He was always careful about touching me lately, always light and even. I didn't mind in him, ashamedly. I'd rather he wasn't. "Bells," he said, "the rumors are merely that. Rumors. No one can prove anything, and no one trusts rumors in Forks anyway. Plus, James' friends surely won't say anything because they don't want to expose him," he said simply.

I nodded, giving a tiny smile for his benefit. He saw through it though, and rolled his eyes jokingly as he hugged me lightly. I smiled for real this time, and hugged him back. I only pulled back after I felt like I couldn't breathe because my heart was racing so fast.

Alice bounced into the room, smiling brilliantly at the two of us. Jasper grinned back and walked over to her, at which point I turned away from the two and my frown returned.

We arrived at school in Rosalie's convertible earlier than I would've on a normal day, but the Hale's and Cullen's liked to see each other before they had to go to class. Once we arrived in the parking lot I looked around, shifting my gaze to all of the different places James' friends could be. I didn't want a confrontation, and I didn't know if they would even bother with me or even blame me for whatever happened on James' end in the last few weeks. Jasper stayed close to my side, a comforter. Rosalie led us all inside the school to get out of the rain, and we wandered to the girls' locker, which they shared out of convenience.

Edward was standing there, ten feet in front of me when I first looked up from the floor to notice. His gaze seemed trained on me, and there was a curious expression there. I bit my lip and blushed, looking back down as we came to a stop next to him in the semi-crowded hallway.

"Edward!" Rosalie cheered, hugging him tightly. He smiled, looked at her, and said his hello's, sounding nice and velvety as I suspected he always did. I noticed any and every girl that passed by him paused for just the slightest moment to get a good look.

"Good morning, cousin," Alice chirped, giving him a smile. He grinned back.

"Where were you this morning?" he asked.

"At the Hale's. We were getting Bella ready."

I blushed as he turned to stare at me again. "Bella needed help?" he asked with a smirk. I rolled my eyes, not answering.

Rose laughed. "She didn't want it. But it is her first day back, and we thought she should look extra beautiful." She winked at me and I scowled.

"Your first day back, huh?" Edward asked. "From what?"

"Umm," I responded lightly, "I just didn't feel like going to school for awhile. I needed a vacation."

He gave me an appraising look, the intense green of his eyes penetrating me. "A vacation wherein you stayed home the entire time?"

I rolled my eyes, again. "Of course not, I'm staying with the Hale's."

The bell rang, and I seized the opportunity to escape to class, not letting myself look back at Edward or the rest of them.

First hour passed by slowly, and it was the first time I actually heard the whispers about me.

"I think she wouldn't give him… you know, and he finally had enough so he broke up with her. Then she was all upset, and he wouldn't take her back, so she jumped down the stairs and ended up in the hospital," Tina McFay whispered from three seats to my right. In the quiet English classroom I could hear crystal clear.

"Seriously? She's that desperate?" Janet Swenson wondered from beside her, only two seats over. "Why wouldn't she just have sex with him in the first place?"

Tine shrugged, and rolled her eyes.

I stared at my desk; trying to focus on the work I'd missed to ignore their whispers. I was sure there were worse rumors going around, but like Jasper said they couldn't prove anything. No one could prove anything.

I repeated that like a mantra in my head to block out the stares. Also, I wrote down my assignments carefully and focused on bringing myself up to speed. These tasks worked well to distract me, until the class right before lunch. I had biology, and Edward had it too.

"Well hello again," he said; everything about his voice was smooth, and his whole demeanor exuded confidence. It automatically made me want to run, as it gave me painful reminders of how James had been like that all the time.

But I needed to get over the trust issues. So I replied.

"Hello," I said, smiling tentatively at him as I pulled my agenda out of my bag so I could write down the homework assignments written on the board.

"How has your morning been?" Edward asked me conversationally.

My heart was fluttering, I realized. I put the pen down and stared at him.

I sighed inwardly. I wasn't supposed to notice how silky his voice was, or how his hair was brilliant, or how much I wanted to touch his arm, his face, his hand…

"Fine," I replied shortly, pulling myself abruptly out of my thoughts. I was being ridiculous! I'd only known Edward a short while and yet here I was, fantasizing about him. On top of that, Rosalie liked him! And he obviously liked her, with the way they were hugging this morning. Any of those clues I'd subconsciously compiled about him _not_ liking her were surely false.

I wasn't acting like myself, what with all the fantasizing and staring, and I hated that. But if I thought about it enough I realized I hadn't been acting like myself for the past seven months. Did I even know who I was anymore?

"Isabella Swan," Mr. Banner's voice pulled me from my thoughts. "Nice to see you're back from your extended vacation."

I nodded, blushing as everyone simultaneously turned to look at me at the back table of the classroom. Edward, on my right, smirked. I avoided his gaze.

Class dragged on and by the end of the hour I was ready to go home for the day. Putting on a show to every other fellow student was such a tiring effort. But I didn't want any of the rumors to have an ounce of evidence in their case. I knew things were spreading around; the simultaneous departure of James from town, and my "extended vacation" made for some nasty rumors. Unfortunately most of them hit close to the mark. Abuse, betrayal, us breaking up and it ending badly for me. Some focused on me being heartbroken. Others, on me kicking him out, and James retreating out of town when it became too much for him to bear.

Fortunately, the fact that I was taken into the hospital, though it _had_ gotten out (it was FORKS after all) had mostly been assumed to be an accident on my part (with the exception of Tina and Janet in first hour, apparently), since it was well known I didn't have the best balance in the world. Not many believed the abuse, though that rumor was definitely heard of, because James didn't leave until a few weeks after I was admitted that night.

It all made me scoff, but I couldn't do anything to refute them then to leave them alone. I would show that I was perfectly well, and eventually they'd find something else to talk about.

I hoped.

"What are you thinking about so hard?" Edward asked me as we walked to lunch together.

I blushed at being caught up in my head. "Nothing," I mumbled. He chuckled lightly.

"I doubt that," he told me seriously. I looked at him curiously for a moment, and then suddenly became very worried of what he thought about the rumors. Surely he heard them? They were everywhere.

I was interrupted in my thoughts.

"Guess what!" Alice squealed at us, jumping up and down as we reached her.

"What?" Edward and I asked in unison.

She giggled at us, and then exclaimed, "They're giving out free tacos at that really good Mexican Restaurant up in Port Angeles today!"

I stared at her. How she knew things like this, I really couldn't know. Maybe she _was_ psychic.

"Let me guess," Edward said slowly, "we're all going up there after school?"

"Yes!" she screamed happily. Rosalie came up from behind us, laughing. She said hello to me, squeezing me tightly, and gave Edward a soft hug.

He smiled at her.

But then he turned to look at me again. "Are you coming with us?" he asked the hint of a frown in his forehead.

"I might as well. When else am I going to get free tacos?" I shrugged lightly, moving my gaze to Jasper who was sitting beside a hyper Alice.

Edward laughed, and I turned back to him, unconsciously. I wanted to make him laugh again. As soon as I thought that though, I blushed and turned away.

The rest of the school day was sluggish, filled with "welcome backs" from students and grumpy teachers, and cheerful people with no clue. I could hear many whispers as I passed in the halls, and the fact made me uncomfortable and slightly mad as the day wore on. Couldn't they find something else to talk about?

I found myself counting down until Taco Time.

Then it got worse.

As I was walking outside of the doors out into the rainy parking lot I finally spotted them. I was surprised their presence had eluded me all day. Laurent, Aro, and Victoria all sat on the low wall that lined the sidewalk to my right. I stopped for the briefest second, seized with fear that I thought was irrational. They had never harmed me, but I did tie them with James, who did hurt me –all the time. The three stared at me, glaring in unison. Victoria's was the most menacing. I wondered if they cared what James did to me, or if they even knew? Would James tell them? How vicious could they be? What did I ever do to them?

I continued walking after the shortest seconds, and my stride was longer and quicker now. Halfway through the parking lot I slipped, and squeezed my eyes shut, expecting the hard asphalt to hit me.

But it didn't. Strong arms brought me up from a foot off of the ground where they held me, hovering. I opened my eyes, and they grew wide in surprise.

"Edward."

He gave me a smile. "You okay, Bella?" he asked, somehow managing to hold my gaze intently with his eyes. It was only a simple question. But everything out of Edward's mouth was more intense than it needed to be, to me.

I nodded dumbly, and then realized Edward still had his arms around me. I pulled away in surprise, and Edward looked a little shocked too. He recovered quickly though, and said, "I'm driving up to Port Angeles in my car. Do you want to come with me?"

I blinked, wondering what to do. I very much wanted to spend time with this almost stranger boy. He astounded me in small ways. Yet I didn't want to be caught in that beautiful green gaze, and I almost feared alone time with him.

"What about Rosalie?" I asked him.

He looked at me steadily for a few seconds, then told me, "She's driving her car, I suppose." His tone made it clear that he would give nothing away.

I nodded, and replied, "Okay, then," without thinking before I said it.

It was most rewarding when he smiled at me again. "Come on, then," he said, grabbing my arm lightly and moving me towards his car. I gasped lightly, and pulled my arm from his grip quickly. He gave me a questioning look, and I blushed embarrassingly.

"Sorry," I mumbled, looking at the car next to me. He barely touched me, and it wasn't like he grabbed me very hard or in any frightening way.

I was too unsure of everything right now. Maybe this was a bad idea, to be alone with him.

Edward shrugged after a moment, and led me to a silver Volvo. He held open the door for me, after I tried to grab it, and then we were on our way.

If I thought the trip to Port Angeles, a good hour away when you obeyed traffic laws, would be awkward I was wrong.

Edward seemed to feel no insecurities, and for all the vibes that everyone at school got from him he was actually very open when it was just the two of you. Maybe Rosalie liked that about him. Maybe.

"I came up from Biloxi, Mississippi," he told me. "My parents thought that maybe I'd behave better if I had Alice's influence." He chuckled like it was the maddest thing he'd ever heard. "Or at least that's what they said."

"Mississippi, eh?" I asked. "You don't have an accent," I noted.

"No," he agreed, "Because I was actually raised here in Washington. Some time in Seattle, and mostly in Forks. But I moved when I was twelve or thirteen, and Alice's family came with us. When Carlisle and Esme decided that they missed the rain my parents saw an opportunity for me to go with them."

"So why didn't you move up here when Alice came over the summer?"

Edward didn't hesitate, but I could sense an untold story when he replied shortly with, "I had some things to take care of."

I nodded and didn't press, wondering over his mysterious life while the acoustic music playing on Edward's car stereo hummed steadily in the background.

"I like this song," I told him, randomly. Edward took it in stride, turning up the sound of The Spill Canvas in the car.

"I wouldn't have tagged you for some acoustic punk."

"I like the sound of acoustic…" I trailed off, listening.

"So where did you grow up?" Edward asked.

"What if I said Forks?" I challenged, wondering how much he knew.

"I'd call you a liar. I never once saw your face when I lived here," he told me, gazing at me blatantly from the corner of his eye. I blushed.

"Phoenix. A little bit of California coast before that."

"Sunshine and endless summertime," he mused. " And then you moved here to endless buckets of water falling from the sky… Preference?"

I was amused. "Definitely sunshine. But I guess I'm getting used to all the wet… I've been here since junior high."

Edward nodded then not so subtly changed the topic. "So what's the real reason for the vacation?"

I glanced at him, and then quickly looked out the front window. I kept my face passive.

"Everyone needs a break," I told him. "My parents went on an extended trip which I wasn't inclined to accompany them on, and I'm staying with the Hale's so I'm not home alone," I made up. "And since they aren't here I didn't feel like going to school."

Edward looked at me skeptically. "Honestly? The girl who was taking studious notes all through class, and has an agenda specifically for school assignments, getting lazy and ditching for a few weeks?" he raised his eyebrow.

I sighed, and looked at him steadily. "Okay," I agreed, "there was more to it than that." My tone closed the conversation.

Edward nodded and then suddenly asked, "What's your favorite color?"

I brought my gaze to him. "Pardon?"

He grinned. "Mine's dark blue, or brown. What's yours?"

"I don't have one," I told him with a small, confused smile.

"How do you not have a favorite color?" he asked, pretending to be shocked. "Not even a tone of preference?"

I shook my head. "I'm too indecisive to limit myself to only one color. Besides, what would be the fun in that?" I joked. "I like to _experience_ all the colors."

Edward laughed loudly, and said, "I've never heard that one before."

I blushed for the fiftieth time in the day and looked out the window again. "Why blue?"

Edward stopped laughing and shrugged. "I… have a fondness for it, that's all."

"Okay I get blue, it's very nice… But brown?" I asked. "Really?"

He smirked at me. "Why not?"

"It's dirty and dull looking."

"Chocolate is brown."

"I'm not a big fan of chocolate," I told him.

He nodded. "Noted."

"Maybe you only picked brown because you have no imagination," I teased him, surprised to find myself having so much fun.

He looked over at me for a long time –enough so that I was getting nervous about the car crashing –but Edward seemed to have perfect control. Then he said, "Maybe I picked it because it's the color of your eyes."

I gulped and red flushed my cheeks. Edward smirked again.

"What's your favorite book to read?" he continued.

And so the conversation went on for the rest of the half hour it took for him to speedily park us in the lot of Garcia's restaurant. A chalk board sign was displayed on the walk in front of it, stating what Alice already said about the free tacos.

Edward parked the car just as I finished telling him about my last pet –a fish named Bubbles who died on the way home from the store.

"I blame Jasper," I told him, smiling. My cheeks hurt a bit from the exercise of the last hour with Edward's company. He made me smile a lot, somehow.

Edward chuckled. "He definitely should've thought before he gave the fish a marshmallow…"

It was silent for a moment as I gazed happily out the window, seeing that Alice, Jazz and Rosalie hadn't arrived yet.

"You're rather fond of him aren't you?"

"What?" I asked too quickly. "Who?"

He laughed. "Jasper, of course. I knew you were close to Rosalie, but I wasn't aware you were so much so with Jasper."

I looked at my lap, praying I wouldn't blush or give anything away unwillingly. Could he tell that easily? Was I obvious about my feelings?

"Yes," I agreed after a few long moments, "I'm rather close to both of them. They practically adopted me when I moved here. They're family."

He nodded. "You stay next to him a lot. In the halls at school today, and last week when we were at the park."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "Oh. He has a very… calming presence."

Edward laughed again, something he was probably fond of doing just to torture me and my nerves, and said, "Yes that's probably why he and Alice make such a good couple."

I chuckled, feeling the awkwardness of the false sound. "Ya," I mumbled.

"Bella," Rosalie brought me back to attention as we stood in the long line of the small restaurant. "We need you to decide before we get up there."

"But they have thirty different taco choices!" I exclaimed, waving my hands in frustration.

Edward chuckled from Rose's other side. "Just close your eyes and point to one."

"That'll never work," I told him stubbornly, as Alice walked over.

"Guys they say there's only one free taco per person!"

"And?"

"Well what if I want more? Just because I'm tiny doesn't mean I don't want more!" she asked with a crazy ring to her tiny voice. She sounded hysterical and people were beginning to stare. "Tacos are tacos! They are amazing! You can never have just one!"

"What if they don't even count you as a person, because of your height?" Edward asked in a mock serious voice. "Did you ask them?"

Alice and Rosalie hit him simultaneously and I laughed. Jasper walked over from behind the free taco sign.

"I couldn't find any chalk babe, so I can't change the limit," he said apologetically; there was a tone of amusement in his voice.

"Curse," she muttered. "Why didn't I think to bring chalk?"

Edward supplied, "Because only crazy people think of things like that." He seemed to stare into space for a moment, then added, "Oh wait, why didn't you think of that?"

She glared at him.

"Oh!" I exclaimed. "They have a lime flavored crispy chicken one…" I trailed off, thinking. Jasper looked at the clock on the wall.

"I'm estimating that you have approximately seven minutes to decide," he told me.

"What's the point of driving all the way up here for one free taco anyways?" Edward asked. "It's more in gas money then a taco is worth."

"It's for the sake of the trip, of course," I told him, while Rosalie nodded seriously opposite of me.

"Seriously. What else do we have to do in Forks?" she asked rhetorically.

"True, true," he sighed.

"Okay," I told them seriously, "I want the lime chicken one."

"Crispy or grilled?" Alice asked.

"Shoot."

"Get the grilled," Edward told me. I stared at him, and cocked an eyebrow. "It's good."

"How do you know?" I asked him.

"I just do."

"You're only pretending to. Have you even been here before?"

"You don't trust me?"

I avoided the question. "What if the grilled chicken gives me some random stomach disease? Are you willing to take responsibility for that?"

He seemed amused. "Sure, I'll pay the hospital bills and everything. And I won't leave your side until you're all better."

"Or I'm dead."

"Nah, you won't die."

"How do you know?" I challenged.

"Alright!" Alice piped up. "Stop bantering and move on, we're next!" she exclaimed, pushing the two of us forward. She laughed lightly and I looked back at her questioningly. She winked at me and pointed to Edward. I blushed and rolled my eyes, quickly glancing at Rosalie who I was relieved to see was absorbed in something Jasper was telling her.

I needed more self control. It was ridiculous.

Once we ordered the free food, we went about trying to find an open table. We found a tiny one that seated four, and Jasper pulled Alice on his lap without question. As I sat down across from Jasper and Alice, with Rose on my left, I scanned the outside seating area where we had chosen our table. I noticed a large man laughing loudly a few tables behind her, eating tacos and joking with some other guys. Despite his size he looked around our age. I didn't recognize him, and I was sure I'd remember him if he lived in Forks. There was a large group of middle aged women in the large table in the corner of the small courtyard. Other than that, everyone had mostly stayed inside because of the wet (the rain had stopped on our way here), but I kept looking around, always wondering who was around me and making sure James or Laurent or Aro weren't anywhere near.

It was a little irrational, but really could anyone blame me? It was mostly unconscious scanning of the room whenever I went somewhere. But I stopped myself when I realized what I was doing, and forced myself to pay attention to Edward's saga about a weekend in New York with his friends from Mississippi.

We received our food around fifteen minutes after we put in our order, and then continued chatting happily.

I was surprised at how much I could open up when I let myself; and, most importantly, when I didn't think about James or his friends. I had fun, enjoyed the girls' and boys' company, and allowed myself to relax, ignoring all of the unsaid fears and unspoken memories that I had been wallowing in before I returned to real life.

This was real life. This was what I wanted, or at least I thought I did. Alice and Jasper looked cozy enough sitting across from me and laughing. Rosalie was cheerily joking about some brat in her fifth hour class, and she kept giving me those special, happy smiles she reserves for you when you need them. And then Edward… Edward was there, and whether or not it was okay that he was, I wasn't sure. But I wanted him there. And I liked sitting next to him, laughing. I enjoyed his company, far more than I should, I was sure.

Sure there were issues, like the fact I was still in love with Jasper, who was in love with Alice; and how I was smitten with Edward, who Rosalie was in like with. And how I couldn't sleep without nightmare. Or the fact that I still had light bruises on me, and rumors were spreading like wildfire at school.

But honestly, I couldn't stand to think about any more of the worries, and I couldn't force any more anxiety and self doubt in my already crammed brain. All I knew was I liked where I was in this moment, sitting and laughing with my friends, and I wasn't going to back out now.

* * *

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	9. Confused

Sooo... haven't updated in forever. I have no excuses. :)

Disclaimer:: Twilight isn't mine. It's all Steph's. What a lucky duck, she is!

I was sitting in the library with small smile on my face.

Jasper Hale sat across from me. He was intently studying his American Civilizations book.

Only Jasper. I smiled wider.

Suddenly, he looked up at the clock, noted the time with a frown, then looked over at my weirdly happy face.

He chuckled. "What?" he asked defensively.

I shook my head slightly. "I just…" I shrugged and giggled lightly. "You are always so intent when you read. You make me feel like a horrible student."

"How do I do that?"

"Well I don't fall in love with my books…"

He laughed loudly. "Only history." He shrugged his shouilders. "You know me." He returned to the chapter he was reading. I smiled still. I did know him. It made me feel better about everything, that Jasper and I could still be so close after months of distance.

Even after Alice. I hadn't thought it was possible to be around Jasper with the feelings I still had when he was so caught up in the pixie girl. But maybe I could be. We were best friends, and that counted. Didn't it?

I knew him; that counted for everything. Didn't it?

I doubted Alice could focus on anything or anyone besides shopping for longer than two minutes. I wondered what type of relationship they had. He seemed happy…

It made me sad that he could be so happy with her. Happier than I had ever seen him before…

I sighed audibly. Obviously Alice Cullen made Jasper Hale happier than I could. I couldn't figure out WHY, because they were so different. But it was obvious in the result; he loved her.

"What's up, Bella?" Jasper asked me. I blinked. I hadn't noticed he was paying attention to me.

"Oh, nothing," I mumbled, blushing.

He rolled his eyes, and muttered, "Right." Then he gave me a sure smile and walked over to sit next to me.

Right next to me. I smiled involuntarily.

"You can talk to me, you know," he told me seriously, staring right at me. The feeling of familiar butterflies in my stomach started up again. I breathed in his fresh scent, loving it.

I nodded. "I know," I replied.

"Still best friends?" he asked, after just a moment of hesitance.

I blinked again. "Of course, Jazz. Why wouldn't we be?"

He bit his lip –my habit—and looked down at the book he still held. "I just… Bells, I feel bad for everything." He looked at me again, and a long silence appeared as he held my gaze. "I'm sorry, for not being there before," he finally said.

"Oh," I exhaled the breath I had been holding in. "Jasper, this… that wasn't anything to do with you, it wasn't your fault…"

He nodded. "I know, but if I had been less stubborn and listened to you…"

I bit my lip, considering. Listened about what? Alice? That was the only thing I had tried to tell him, wasn't it? Or was he somewhere referring to James? But I had been sending hints to Rosalie, not Jasper…

Was he saying he _regretted_ not listening to me about Alice?

No. Scratch that. Stop hoping. I was jumping to ridiculous conclusions.

Jasper put his hand on my shoulder. "I love you Bella, and you'll always be my best friend. I'm sorry about everything. But I just want you to know I'm here for you now," he said solemnly.

I nodded, a little muddled by what he was trying to say. "Um, ya. I know. You too," I replied weakly.

He seemed to sense that I wasn't really there anymore, lost in my own thoughts. So he wrapped his right arm around my frame and held me close as he continued to read. I sighed against him.

I had no clue what he was trying to say, but I liked the result. Maybe there was hope after all.

It was the day of the Anti-Fling Social. To say I was excited would be an outright lie. To say I was dreading it completely would also be untrue. My talk with Jasper helped calm me down a lot, but ever since school got out on Friday I couldn't shake the nerves.

I just wasn't confident around _people_ still. There happened to be a lot of people coming to this event, news I received bluntly during last period when some girl in my gym class started gossiping about it.

Sure, Rosalie and Alice were popular. But 400 invites? In a school with just over 300? Where did that come from?

I guess it was just my avoidance of painful subjects that kept me from realizing how BIG this party would be. Until now.

I sat in front of Alice's vanity, waiting as they studied me critically, deciding what needed to be done to make me "glamorous." Alice's words, not mine. Not even Rosalie's.

"Bella," Rose said, smiling at me, "your bruises are basically gone. That's amazing!"

I smiled back timidly, too nervous for the party to be too excited. "I know," I sighed happily. "Thank goodness."

Alice smiled tightly, as if the subject made her unhappy. "Yes, well, don't get complacent. I'm still giving you a makeover."

I rolled my eyes at Rose while Alice grabbed a curling iron and set to work.

Two full hours later, we were all ready. Of course the girls looked amazing in comparison to anyone, and everyone. But I had to admit (reluctantly and torturously) that Alice did wonders on me. My hair was curled looseley, with some pieces in the front french braided to frame my face. Rosalie had swept her hair into an adorable ponytail, and Alice kept her short hair straight. Our dresses looked just as pretty as they did in the stores.

Alice smiled in success.

Stupid pixie. I just couldn't warm up to her.

I plopped onto the red couch in the Cullen's living room. I resigned myself to waiting for the horror to start. I had just found the amazing amount of alcohol that littered the counters of their kitchen. In response to the look on my face, Alice giggled and told me, "Our parents decided to leave the weekend to us. They got a hotel in Port Angeles."

"So… that of course gave you the desire to buy drinks?" The word drinks seemed a small comparison to the many bottles of liquor before me.

"We don't drink," she said lightly. As if that excused her letting other students drink…

So I left the kitchen, and sat on the couch.

Where he found me.

"Hey," Edward said, appearing in the front door way. I jumped and then smiled sheepishly.

"Hello," I replied quietly.

"You look tense," Edward told me. He walked over and sat gracefully on the couch next to me. Perhaps a little too close. I shifted nervously.

"Umm," I replied.

He chuckled. "Afraid of parties?" He looked unsure all of a sudden, and glanced down at the small amount of space between us. He shifted too, like he was also nervous around me.

Ridiculous. He was at ease around everyone.

"Ya," I mumbled. "I guess I am."

He nodded thoughtfully, then turned away from me. Edward grabbed the remote controller for the large plasma TV the Cullens placed strategically on a stretch of wall facing the loveseat we were sitting on. He pressed a few buttons until we were watching (I was attempting to focus) some mindless comedy.

I stared at him unconsciously; he finally looked back at me and chuckled. I blushed deeply.

"Sorry," he said, "it calms me down. Television is the greatest invention ever," he laughed lightly. "It lets you not think for as long as you like."

I laughed shortly. "I don't think that's completely correct."

"Why not?"

My mind automatically flashed to scenes of James watching TV next to me, his hand gripping my waist tightly, harshly, keeping me glued next to him. When the TV had nothing to watch that interested him, James grip would become harder. He was frustrated because the television wasn't entertaining to him. And he was greedy because I was sitting next to him, and he wanted more.

Always more.

I shuddered lightly.

"Bella?" Edward asked in concern. I looked up, surprised at where I was. Sometimes I got so lost to the real world…

Except memories of what James did to me was the real world. Not some horrible nightmare like I wished it was.

"I'm fine," I said; the words barely formed since my jaw was clenched tight.

"Bella, seriously, what's up?" he asked, worry in his smooth and velvety voice. His hand came down lightly on my wrist, and I shuddered at the contact. Electricity buzzed through the single second of contact our skin made. It was frightening, yet one of the most intense kind of pleasures I had ever felt.

It scared me.

Instantly, I pulled my arm away, and almost simultaneously I regretted the lost contact.

I looked up at Edward's light green eyes and bit my lip in shame. He was only trying to help. I took a deep breath and muttered, "Sorry."

He shook his head to dismiss my apology. I realized my hands were still balled up in fists. Somehow, I couldn't relax them.

Hesitantly, still keeping contact with my eyes, Edward reached out his hand once more to place it completely over mine.

Electricity. Fear. Pleasure. Confusion.

"Are you alright?" he asked simply.

I nodded stiffly, finding breathing suddenly difficult.

He seemed to have trouble tearing his gaze away from me to look down at my hand. He looked back at me (I was still hopelessly staring and trying to breathe) and gave me a pointed look. As if to say, "you don't seem alright."

He smiled slightly. "When I was little and stressed out my mom used to massage my hands. It always helped."

I bit my lip again, then nodded.

Slowly, Edward brought both of his hands to the one he still held, and gently moved his thumbs up and down my palm.

I shivered a little, and my heart was racing in an odd mixture of adrenaline and fear.

I didn't like him touching me, because I didn't like anyone touching me. Except Jasper, who I could always be close to.

Except… I did. I did want him to touch me. I did like it.

It was completely innocent. Which only confused me more. If a simple hand massage –no, a simple touch of our hands, had me reacting this way…

What did it mean? How could I react so strongly from the simplest of actions related to a boy I hardly knew?

Minutes passed, I think. Edward seemed to switch from staring at me intently (far too intently for the situation) and staring at my right hand which he held in both of his.

He stopped. I gulped and quietly sighed in relief and regret. Edward was staring at my face again, and I still couldn't quit gazing back. Until…

"Edward!" Alice shrieked. "Get up here and change, the guests will be here in less than ten minutes!"

Edward smiled slightly, a crooked adorable smile that I only saw a few times in ten, and flipped the TV off (had it been playing the whole time?) before standing up and retreating to Alice's panicked voice.

Just like that, the moment (whatever kind of moment it had been) was over.

Everything was so confusing around him.

The party was a hit. Of course. It wasn't like anyone could look at Rosalie and Alice and not KNOW it would be.

I spent most of my time in the light kitchen area, avoiding contact with other teenagers, and watching as people grabbed alcohol and soda. I also kept tabs on who grabbed the most beer. I made mental notes to stay far away from them.

In truth, I was on the lookout for Laurent or Victoria. Everyone at Forks High had been invited, even some kids who had gone off to college, or lived in neighboring towns. Everyone wanted to see the Cullens fabulous mansion.

I was pretty sure that Victoria, Aro, Laurent and the rest of James' crew would be curious enough to hit up the place, and then greedy enough to stay and drink all of the vodka or whiskey Alice had acquired.

So far I hadn't seen them. I still couldn't breathe evenly though.

Tired of watching the bottles of drinks quickly disappear, I moved swiftly through the kitchen, mindlessly traveling through the dance party in the living room and out onto the back porch. Everything was so claustrophobic inside the huge house. It seemed oxymoronic to me. But I supposed the number of dancing bodies in there acounted for it.

Alice had put up lights around the deck, and the first half of the yard was illuminated in a gentle light. I inhaled deeply, crossing my arms around myself to keep out the chill that settled outside.

A twig snapped in the distance, but when I looked I couldn't see anyone in the yard. I heard muffled laughter and a few exchanged words. I didn't want to eavesdrop on anyone's "fun" time, so I turned to walk inside.

"Bella!" someone called me. I froze and turned back around slowly, unwillingly.

Aro and Laurent stood at the edge of the light, smirks and cocky faces just visible to me. They stood maybe 10 yards away from me, and as my eyes adjusted I realized that Victoria and Heidi, one of those that James had been with multiple times, were standing behind them. I shivered.

Tempting as it was, I knew I couldn't just turn around and walk back into the party. I didn't want a confrontation, but the thought of retreating gave my gut a sharp pain of fear. Bad idea.

The sight of them was frightening; they brought back all of the memories I worked so hard to repress, and simultaneously made me feel nauseous, and numb with fear. I couldn't move my legs.

Aro and Laurent walked forward, narrowing their eyes at me.

… And I saw James, his eyes dark with anger, narrowing when I dared to talk back to him. I could feel the bruises form around my small wrists as he denied me food. I could taste the bitterness on his lips when he forced himself on me…

I gasped quietly.

"Seen James lately?" Aro asked in a low voice, glaring at me fiercely. My arm twitched at the mention of his name.

I gulped and couldn't find my feet to take a step back from their advances. My throat closed up, and I couldn't speak.

Victoria scoffed. "She won't tell, Aro," her sickly sweet voice called out. "She's trouble, that one."

Aro looked at me, as if considering me for the first time. "Are you trouble?" he asked rhetorically.

I shook my head.

"Do you know where he is?" Laurent asked in a muted voice that I managed to hear even though they were quite a few feet away from where I stood on the porch. "He must have told you where he was going. I know you two were… close," he said, smiling.

"No," I squeaked in a whisper. "I don't…"

I looked away from them and down at the ground, my hands clutching tightly around my waist still; it was like a painful reminder: the bones of my ribcage still jutted out slightly from when James starved me, and all of a sudden the rush of blood through my body, the fear, the pain, the hurt all came back. I blinked and James' face disappeared from behind my eyes again. I looked back up at Laurent.

He looked amused, as if he knew I was suffering in their presence. But his look quickly became angry once more.

"It's your fault James had to leave town, Bella," he told me in a monotone voice that gave me chills. "All your fault."

"No," I managed to whisper. The two men continued staring at me and I spoke in a louder voice, "No."

Victoria hissed. Aro's eyes narrowed to slits. "No?" he questioned. He walked forward til he was right in front of me, and reached out—

"Bella?" Edward's voice came from behind me, and I whipped around (my feet were suddenly feeling again) to see him standing on the porch.

I gasped in relief, and backed away from Laurent and his gang, stumbling on a lifted plank of wood to get to Edward, who was waiting with a confused expression. I looked at his face and he looked at mine, and suddenly he seemed upset. He stared from me to the group behind me, but when I turned to see what he was seeing, I found no one. They had melted into the dark yard again.

I shivered tensely.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Edward looked tense.

I shook my head. "Nothing," I replied tersely, shivering slightly.

He gave me a look that clearly said "that was NOT nothing," and took my hand gently (still, I received the shock; and by the look on his face he did too) to lead me into the warm house. Everyone was still there, swaying to the deep bass beats that reverberated throughout the house, and bouncing to the rock music that accompanied it. Edward didn't let go of my hand as he led me through the front door, and onto the porch. There was more light here, and a few students had wandered out into the yard, littered with cars, to talk and get air.

I moved past Edward, letting go of his hand hesitantly, to sit on the porch swing.

He came and sat beside me, thankfully keeping at least a foot of space between us this time. We sat in silence for a long ten minutes, until he finally spoke.

"Are you going to tell me what the deal was back there?"

I refrained from biting my lip off and stuck my thumbnail inbetween my teeth. "What did you see?" I asked nervously.

He stared at me with those marvelously intense green eyes for a second and replied shortly, "You were upset. Some kids from school –I think I've seen them before—seemed to be harrassing you."

I closed my eyes briefly, and saw James again. He was surrounded by his stupid friends, playing some ridiculous drinking game and laughing at the crude jokes they shared.

"Bella," Edward's voice rang out sharply. I jumped, and shivered. I opened my eyes and looked up at him, only to find a very stressed and worried face looking back at me.

"Seriously, are you okay?" he asked; his voice was softer, but the frustration that was there ever since we sat down still showed.

I didn't even bother to consider the question. Would I ever be okay? I just took a deep breath and nodded. "Ya, I think I'm fine now." No use pretending I wasn't find a few minutes ago. "I just… don't like them very much." At all. I didn't like them at all.

He nodded slowly, as if willing himself to believe me. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head automatically, then hesitated. "Um, can we talk about something else?" I asked, unsure. "I mean, you don't have to, if you want to go back to the party… I just… I thought, I like talking to you and I'm not one for the parties, and now I am distracted, and it's better, but if you—"

Edward cut me off with laughing. "Sure, Bella, let's talk. I like talking with you too." He kicked his legs out to start a gentle swinging motion.

I smiled slightly at the simplicity of the movement. Forward, back. Forward, back. Simple. Uncomplicated.

"Okay," I agreed.

And we talked. About everything and nothing; he asked me more silly questions, like the ride in the car had been filled with. I managed to get in some more, myself. We talked about his relationship with Alice –"She's like my annoying little sister, but I still like her anyways," he stated –and how he wished he could find the will to apply himself more in school –"I would love to be a doctor, or something profound like that. I just get bored too easily." He asked me how Rosalie and I got along, and what living in Phoenix was like.

The party left without us, and we watched as people left throughout our hours long conversation. Not one person interrupted us while we sat there, swinging and talking. That is until the party seemed to end, and Rosalie came out with a smile on her face.

"Oh there you are, Bella! Edward! I was wondering where you two had gone," she said happily. I blushed lightly, feeling guilty for sitting out here with Edward for so long when Rosalie liked him SO much. But her face showed no sign of accusation or suspicion. She stood in front of us and started talking, somehow still full of energy after hours of chatting and dancing and mingling.

I could never do it. Only Rosalie. I smiled as she told me about the people she talked to, and how everyone was saying it was the party of the year.

Alice and Jasper appeared with the last of the guests, and the group watched them leave. Alice sighed happily, clutching Jasper's hand tightly. "I can't wait for the next one!" she squealed.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes; I crossed my arms tightly around me, trying to ignore the closeness Alice and Jazz shared. He was laughing and had his arm wrapped around her posessively. It looked like habit.

I saw Edward give me a strange look in response to my sudden change of mood.

I stood up and yawned in a big, fake way that I hoped wouldn't be obvious. "I'm exhausted. Trying not to party is too hard." Alice laughed. "Bed time?" I asked, my question directed at Rosalie.

She nodded, then hugged Edward tightly, telling him something about missing him for most of the party. He replied that he got caught up talking to me, but didn't say when we came out here –hours before. After we bid everyone goodnight, she led me upstairs to Alice's guest room which we would be sharing.

Rosalie chatted as we got ready to sleep; I tuned her out, my thoughts filled with the events of the night. It seemed like a rollar coaster. The chat with Jasper, getting ready with the girls, the tense situation with Edward in front of the TV, the hand massage, the party arrivals, the confrontation with James' old group, and then talking with Edward on the porch swing…

I thought back to the tension that seemed to follow us whenever we were together. It was frightening, but I found myself missing his company already. I wasn't sure if I could handle this anymore, knowing the feelings he gave me. After all I'd been through with James… I swallowed, trying to force my mind to block out the painful images.

Yet, I knew that I would continue to talk to Edward. I wanted to get to know him, and find out more about where he came from. I wanted to understand him. I wanted to touch his hand again, and see that crooked smile.

It was like an addiction, and I couldn't find the will to be scared of the shocking feeling enough to stay away. I liked Edward. Too much, probably, but what could I do about that?

And what about Jasper? I was sure I loved him more, because I always had. But I couldn't deny the connection I felt with Edward Cullen. And I didn't necessarily want to stop it.

My heart jumped as I realized I was already in too deep with him. There wasn't hope of going back now with Edward.

And then my heart sank as I layed in the bed next to Rosalie, who sadly mumbled that Edward had barely danced with her before he disappeared for the night. How could I keep this up when my best friend, the girl who was _always_ there for me through the absolute worst, liked him too?

Wasn't this against some sacred girl code?

I bit my lip as I stared at the ceiling of the guest room. I hoped James' face wouldn't be present in my dreams tonight. I was emotionally spent for the day. I pictured Jasper smiling at me, holding me on the sofa in the library, day after day…

I missed him already.

I closed my eyes, and then Edward's face loomed in my vision. I smiled slightly, and fell asleep.

There were concerns about Bella liking Jasper. DON'T WORRY. I'm completely team Edward. But for now, ya Bella likes Jasper. And now she kinda likes Edward.

Confused?

Yes. She is.

Review? Please and Thanks.

love, love, love.


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